No point of doctrine sets this church apart from the other claimants as this one does.

  

Monday, 11/9/20 Hey BMX, Hope you are well!  I just called FS to see if they let me in by accident last week. Yep! No one is allowed in until January or further notice! Darn! So then I checked the library and discovered this:

The Washington County Library System wishes to celebrate staff member David Huskinson, who has marked his 30 year anniversary as a library staff member. He began working for the Washington County Library System in 1990 when the library was in a transition from wooden card catalogs, stamped due date slips, and was moving into the world of computers. David said that one of his recollections of working at the Main Street library was the extensive collection of phone books from across the western United States that were kept at the reference desk. These were in high demand with patrons looking for information in the pre-google era. Another memory was the mountains of tax forms that were available at the library, which now are all available online. David says that the best part of working for the Library System for the past 30 years is the wonderful people he works with and the patrons, many who have become good friends over the years. One of his favorite memories was when a mother and her six year old daughter were checking out books, and the little girl told her mom “I think he does a good job”. He said that moments like this make everything about his job at the library worthwhile. Congratulate David when you see him next for reaching this momentous milestone! David Huskinson receives a commemoration of his thirty-year anniversary as a Library staff member at the County Commission meeting. Pictured from left: Commissioner Gil Almquist(my stake president!), Adam Huskinson, Tina Huskinson, David Huskinson, Library Director Joel Tucker, Commissioner Dean Cox and Commissioner Victor Iverson.

V- Adam is his son, Tina is his wife and she had a stroke just after they were married and had to quit teaching at my school: home ec at Desert Hills Intermediate. He is my friend. We visit every time I see him there. He used to wear a toupee because he was shy about his scalp disease back in the 90’s. God bless him! 

@ I listened to this talk this morning and he said a bunch of stuff that I thought I had figured out all by myself. So I will leave the talk clean for you to enjoy but afterwards I am going to pick out all the stuff I thought was outrageous and awesome!!

The Redemption of the Dead

Boyd K. Packer

Of the Council of the Twelve

I have reason, my brother and sisters, to feel very deeply about the subject that I have chosen for today, and to feel more than the usual need for your sustaining prayers, because of its very sacred nature.

When the Lord was upon the earth He made it very clear that there was one way, and one way only, by which man may be saved. “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6.) To proceed on that way, these two things emerge as being very fixed. First, in His name rests the authority to secure the salvation of mankind. “For there is none other name under heaven given … whereby we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12.) And next, there is an essential ordinance—baptism—standing as a gate through which every soul must pass to obtain eternal life.

The Lord was neither hesitant nor was He apologetic in proclaiming exclusive authority over those processes, all of them in total, by which we may return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. This ideal was clear in the minds of His apostles also, and their preaching provided for one way, and one way only, for men to save themselves.

Over the centuries men saw that many, indeed most, never found that way. This became very hard to explain. Perhaps they thought it to be generous to admit that there are other ways. So they tempered or tampered with the doctrine.

This rigid emphasis on “one Lord and one baptism,” was thought to be too restrictive, and too exclusive, even though the Lord Himself had described it as being narrow, for, “Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life.” (Matt. 7:14.)

Since baptism is essential there must be an urgent concern to carry the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. That came as a commandment from Him.

His true servants will be out to convert all who will hear to the principles of the gospel and they will offer them that one baptism which He proclaimed as essential. The preaching of the gospel is evident to one degree or another in most Christian churches. Most, however, are content to enjoy whatever they can gain from membership in their church without any real effort to see that others hear about it.

The powerful missionary spirit and the vigorous missionary activity in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints becomes a very significant witness that the true gospel and that the authority are possessed here in the Church. We accept the responsibility to preach the gospel to every person on earth. And if the question is asked, “You mean you are out to convert the entire world?” the answer is, “Yes. We will try to reach every living soul.”

Some who measure that challenge quickly say, “Why, that’s impossible! It cannot be done!”

To that we simply say, “Perhaps, but we shall do it anyway.”

Against the insinuation that it cannot be done, we are willing to commit every resource that can be righteously accumulated to this work. Now, while our effort may seem modest when measured against the challenge, it is hard to ignore when measured against what is being accomplished, or even what is being attempted, elsewhere.

Presently we have over 21,000 missionaries serving in the field—and paying for the privilege. And that’s only part of the effort. Now I do not suggest that the number should be impressive, for we do not feel we are doing nearly as well as we should be. And more important than that, any one of them would be evidence enough if we knew the source of the individual conviction that each carries.

We ask no relief of the assignment to seek out every living soul, teach them the gospel, and offer them baptism. And we’re not discouraged, for there is a great power in this work and that can be verified by anyone who is sincerely inquiring.

Now there is another characteristic that identifies His Church and also has to do with baptism. There is a very provoking and a very disturbing question about those who died without baptism. What about them? If there is none other name given under heaven whereby man must be saved (and that is true), and they have lived and died without even hearing that name, and if baptism is essential (and it is), and they died without even the invitation to accept it, where are they now?

That is hard to explain. It describes most of the human family.

There are several religions larger than most Christian denominations, and together they are larger than all of them combined. Their adherents for centuries have lived and died and never heard the word baptism. What is the answer for them?

That is a most disturbing question. What power would establish one Lord and one baptism, and then allow it to be that most of the human family never comes within its influence? With that question unanswered, the vast majority of the human family must be admitted to be lost, and against any reasonable application of the law of justice or of mercy, either. How could Christianity itself be sustained?

When you find the true church you will find the answer to that disturbing question.

If a church has no answer for that, how can it lay claim to be His Church? He is not willing to write off the majority of the human family who were never baptized.

Those who admit in puzzled frustration that they have no answer to this cannot lay claim to authority to administer to the affairs of the Lord on the earth, or to oversee the work by which all mankind must be saved.

Since they had no answer concerning the fate of those who had not been baptized, Christians came to believe that baptism itself was not critical in importance, and that the name of Christ may not be all that essential. There must, they supposed, be other names whereby man could be saved.

The answer to that puzzling challenge could not be invented by men, but was revealed. I underline the word revealed. Revelation too is an essential characteristic of His Church. Communication with Him through revelation was established when the Church was established. It has not ceased and it is constant in the Church today.

As I address myself to the question of those who died without baptism, I do so with the deepest reverence, for it touches on a sacred work. Little known to the world, we move obediently forward in a work that is so marvelous in its prospects, transcendent above what man might have dreamed of, supernal, inspired, and true. In it lies the answer.

In the earliest days of the Church the Prophet was given direction through revelation that work should commence on the building of a temple, akin to the temples that had been constructed anciently. There was revealed ordinance work to be performed there for the salvation of mankind.

Then another ancient scripture, ignored or overlooked by the Christian world in general, was understood and moved into significant prominence: “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?” (1 Cor. 15:29.)

Here then, was the answer. With proper authority an individual could be baptized for and in behalf of someone who had never had the opportunity. That individual would then accept or reject the baptism, according to his own desire.

This work came as a great reaffirmation of something very basic that the Christian world now only partly believes: and that is that there is life after death. Mortal death is no more an ending than birth was a beginning. The great work of redemption goes on beyond the veil as well as here in mortality.

The Lord said, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live.” (John 5:25.)

On October 3, 1918, President Joseph F. Smith was pondering on the scriptures, including this one from Peter: “For this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.” (1 Pet. 4:6.)

There was opened to him a marvelous vision. In it he saw the concourses of the righteous. And he saw Christ ministering among them. Then he saw those who had not had the opportunity, and those who had not been valiant. And he saw the work for their redemption. And I quote his record of this vision:

“I perceived that the Lord went not in person among the wicked and the disobedient who had rejected the truth, to teach them; but behold, from among the righteous he organized his forces and appointed messengers, clothed with power and authority, and commissioned them to go forth and carry the light of the gospel to them that were in darkness, even to all the spirits of men. And thus was the gospel preached to the dead.” (“Vision of the Redemption of the Dead,” The Utah Genealogical and Historical Magazine, Jan. 1919, p. 3.) [D&C 138:29–30]

We have been authorized to perform baptisms vicariously so that when they hear the gospel preached and desire to accept it, that essential ordinance will have been performed. They need not ask for any exemption from that essential ordinance. Indeed, the Lord Himself was not exempted from it.

Here and now then, we move to accomplish the work to which we are assigned. We are busily engaged in that kind of baptism. We gather the records of our kindred dead, indeed, the records of the entire human family; and in sacred temples in baptismal fonts designed as those were anciently, we perform these sacred ordinances.

“Strange,” one may say. It is passing strange. It is transcendent and supernal. The very nature of the work testifies that He is our Lord, that baptism is essential, that He taught the truth.

And so the question may be asked, “You mean you are out to provide baptism for all who have ever lived?”

And the answer is simply, “Yes.” For we have been commanded to do so.

“You mean for the entire human family? Why, that is impossible. If the preaching of the gospel to all who are living is a formidable challenge, then the vicarious work for all who have ever lived is impossible indeed.”

To that we say, “Perhaps, but we shall do it anyway.”

And once again we certify that we are not discouraged. We ask no relief of the assignment, no excuse from fulfilling it. Our effort today is modest indeed when viewed against the challenge. But since nothing is being done for them elsewhere, our accomplishments, we have come to know, have been pleasing to the Lord.

Already we have collected hundreds of millions of names, and the work goes forward in the temples and will go on in other temples that will be built. The size of the effort we do not suggest should be impressive, for we are not doing nearly as well as we should be.

Those who thoughtfully consider the work inquire about those names that cannot be collected. “What about those for whom no record was ever kept? Surely you will fail there. There is no way you can search out those names.”

To this I simply observe, “You have forgotten revelation.” Already we have been directed to many records through that process. Revelation comes to individual members as they are led to discover their family records in ways that are miraculous indeed. And there is a feeling of inspiration attending this work that can be found in no other. When we have done all that we can do, we shall be given the rest. The way will be opened up.

Every Latter-day Saint is responsible for this work. Without this work, the saving ordinances of the gospel would apply to so few who have ever lived that it could not be claimed to be true.

There is another benefit from this work that relates to the living. It has to do with family life and the eternal preservation of it. It has to do with that which we hold most sacred and dear—the association with our loved ones in our own family circle.

Something of the spirit of this can be sensed as I quote from a letter from my own family records. I quote a letter dated January the 17th, 1889, Safford, Graham County, in Arizona. It concerns my great-grandfather, who was the first of our line in the Church, and who died a few days later, Jonathan Taylor Packer. This letter was written by a daughter-in-law to the family.

After describing the distress and difficulty he had suffered for several weeks, she wrote:

“But I will do all I can for him for I consider it my duty. I will do for him as I would like someone to do for my dear mother, for I am afraid I shall never see her again in this world.”

And then she wrote this: “Your father says for you all to be faithful to the principles of the gospel and asks the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob upon you all, and bids you all goodbye until he meets you in the morning of the resurrection.

“Well, Martha, I can’t hardly see the lines for tears, so I will stop writing. From your loving sister, Mary Ann Packer.”

I know that I shall see this great-grandfather beyond the veil, and my grandfather, and my father. And I know that I shall there also meet those of my ancestors who lived when the fulness of the gospel was not upon the earth; those who lived and died without ever hearing His name, nor having the invitation to be baptized.

I say that no point of doctrine sets this church apart from the other claimants as this one does. Save for it, we would, with all of the others, have to accept the clarity with which the New Testament declares baptism to be essential and then admit that most of the human family could never have it.

But we have the revelations. We have those sacred ordinances. The revelation that places upon us the obligation for this baptism for the dead is section 128 in the Doctrine and Covenants. And I should like to read in closing two or three of the closing verses of that section.

“Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad. Let the earth break forth into singing. Let the dead speak forth anthems of eternal praise to the King Immanuel, who hath ordained, before the world was, that which would enable us to redeem them out of their prison; …

“Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! …

“Let us, therefore, as a church and a people, and as Latter-day Saints, offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness; and let us present in his holy temple … a book containing the records of our dead, which shall be worthy of all acceptation.” (D&C 128:22–24.) V-THIS IS CELEBRATION AND PRAISE!

I bear witness that this work is true, that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, that there is on this earth today a prophet of God to lead modern Israel in this great obligation. I know that the Lord lives and that He broods anxiously over the work for the redemption of the dead, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

1. We accept the responsibility to preach the gospel to every person on earth. CRAZY! HOW?

2. And if the question is asked, “You mean you are out to convert the entire world?” the answer is, “Yes. We will try to reach every living soul.”

3. Some who measure that challenge quickly say, “Why, that’s impossible! It cannot be done!”\To that we simply say, “Perhaps, but we shall do it anyway.”

4. Now there is another characteristic that identifies His Church and also has to do with baptism. There is a very provoking and a very disturbing question about those who died without baptism. What about them?

5. There are several religions larger than most Christian denominations, and together they are larger than all of them combined. Their adherents for centuries have lived and died and never heard the word baptism. What is the answer for them? INDIA, CHINA ETC. ETC! AS YOU KNOW I HAVE A DEEP CURIOSITY ABOUT THESE COUNTRIES AND THEIR HISTORY. WHERE IN THE WORLD DID ALL THOSE PEOPLE COME FROM? ARE THEY DESCENDANTS OF NOAH? That is a most disturbing question. It SURE IS!!! AND BKP DARED TO SAY SO. ISN’T THIS FUN! HE WAS WILD IN THIS TALK! 

6. If a church has no answer for that, how can it lay claim to be His Church? He is not willing to write off the majority of the human family who were never baptized.

7. As I address myself to the question of those who died without baptism, I do so with the deepest reverence, for it touches on a sacred work. Little known to the world, we move obediently forward in a work that is so marvelous in its prospects, transcendent above what man might have dreamed of, supernal, inspired, and true. In it lies the answer. THIS IS SO SWEET. THIS IS WHY HE OPENED HIS TALK SAYING IT WAS A VERY SACRED SUBJECT! 

8. “Strange,” one may say. It is passing strange. It is transcendent and supernal. The very nature of the work testifies that He is our Lord, that baptism is essential, that He taught the truth.

9. And so the question may be asked, “You mean you are out to provide baptism for all who have ever lived?”

10. And the answer is simply, “Yes.” For we have been commanded to do so.

11. “You mean for the entire human family? Why, that is impossible. If the preaching of the gospel to all who are living is a formidable challenge, then the vicarious work for all who have ever lived is impossible indeed.”\To that we say, “Perhaps, but we shall do it anyway.”

12. I say that no point of doctrine sets this church apart from the other claimants as this one does. Save for it, we would, with all of the others, have to accept the clarity with which the New Testament declares baptism to be essential and then admit that most of the human family could never have it.  THIS IS HUGE! THIS IS AS BIG AS THE WHOLE POPULATION OF THE WORLD THROUGHOUT ITS LIFETIME!!!! 80 BILLION PEOPLE HUGE!  SO COOL. DON’T YOU LOVE IT. :)

What fun!!

I can’t figure out how to get rid of the background color. I figured it out last month but I can’t remember now. @ I spent the last hour on facebook. Look at the two cool things I found on Xiang’s page!  I love you guys. This warms my heart. :)  @ Rolo has over 1k friends! Wow, what a popular guy. From his “about history” it looks like he has been in California his whole life. @ Jessica posts such funny comments and pictures about what it is like to raise 4 boys. I looked at her pictures for a couple of years back. @

Hardly – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Totally

Sunday, 5/10/20 Hello bmx, I have been asking myself from the beginning when LA would climax in a coronavirus outbreak/deaths? I think I just figured out why it will never compare to NYC even though the population is greater. 27k people /sq.mile is NYC and Manhatten island is 67k people /sq.mile.


7.5k people /sq.mile is the population density of Los Angeles. With the 6ft rule you can tell that distance makes a humongous difference!

I guess it is time to be grateful that we are not crowded!!!



I found a picture of my brother Brent ‘58


Purslane is a very good source of alpha-linolenic acid. Alpha-linolenic is an omega-3 fatty acid which plays an important role in human growth and development and in preventing diseases. Purslane has been shown to contain five times higher omega-3 fatty acids than spinach. Omega-3 fatty acids belong to a group of polyunsaturated fatty acids essential for human growth, development, prevention of numerous cardiovascular diseases, and maintenance of a healthy immune system [7].Purslane has recently been identified as the richest vegetable source of alpha-linolenic acid, an essential omega-3 fatty acid [10]. Omega 3 are the anti inflammatory fatty acids! Purslane is a plant source of omega-3 fatty acids and melatonin, and it has the highest content of alpha linolenic acid (ALA) of any wild plant that can be eaten. Each 100 gms. of purslane contains 300-400 mg. of ALA, 12.2 mg. alpha tocopherol from of vitamin E, 26.6 mg. of ascorbic acid, 1.9 mg. beta carotene, and 14.9 mg. Glutathione.

Sunday 5/17/20 4:19pm It took me a while to figure out what message I could sent my ministering families today. This is what I sent:

Who is the most imaginative of our 15 apostles? There is one who tried to imagine what it would have been like to live in Joseph Smith's world and what he would have hoped for in his relationship and understanding of God. Do you remember any of them speaking about this? Does it sound vaguely familiar?

Last week I shared a story about a boy who tried to burn the BoM. See if you agree with the desires of this apostle in his 1820 environment? Count them. How many hopes does he name? I love the idea of having 3 wishes.

We imagined ourselves living in the early 1800s, looking at the religious beliefs of that day. In that imagined setting, we asked ourselves, “What’s missing here? What do we wish we had? What do we hope God will provide in response to our spiritual longing?”

Well, for one thing, we realized that two centuries ago we would have dearly hoped for the restoration of a truer concept of God [~1] than most in that day had, hidden as He often seemed to be behind centuries of error and misunderstanding. To borrow a phrase from William Ellery Channing, a prominent religious figure of the day, we would have looked for the “parental character of God,” which Channing considered “the first great doctrine of Christianity.”1 Such a doctrine would have recognized Deity as a caring Father in Heaven, rather than a harsh judge dispensing stern justice or as an absentee landlord who had once been engaged in earthly matters but was now preoccupied somewhere else in the universe.

Yes, our hopes in 1820 would have been to find God speaking and guiding as openly in the present as He did in the past, a true Father, in the most loving sense of that word. He certainly would not have been a cold, arbitrary autocrat who predestined a select few for salvation and then consigned the rest of the human family to damnation. No, He would be one whose every action, by divine declaration, would be “for the benefit of the world; for he loveth the world”2 and every inhabitant in it. That love would be His ultimate reason for sending Jesus Christ, His Only Begotten Son, to the earth.3

Speaking of Jesus, had we lived in those first years of the 19th century, we would have realized with great alarm that doubts about the reality of the Savior’s life and Resurrection were beginning to take significant hold within Christendom. Therefore, we would have hoped for evidence [~2] to come to the whole world that would confirm the biblical witness that Jesus is the Christ, the literal Son of God, Alpha and Omega, and the only Savior this world will ever know. It would have been among our dearest hopes that other scriptural evidence be brought forward, something that could constitute another testament of Jesus Christ, enlarging and enhancing our knowledge of His miraculous birth, wondrous ministry, atoning sacrifice, and glorious Resurrection. Truly such a document would be “righteousness [sent] down out of heaven; and truth [sent] forth out of the earth.”4

Observing the Christian world in that day, we would have hoped to find someone authorized by God [~3] with true priesthood authority who could baptize us, bestow the gift of the Holy Ghost, and administer all gospel ordinances necessary for exaltation. In 1820, we would have hoped to see fulfilled the eloquent promises of Isaiah, Micah, and other ancient prophets regarding the return of the majestic house [~4] of the Lord.5 We would have thrilled to see the glory of holy temples established again, with the Spirit, the ordinances, the power, and the authority to teach eternal truths, heal personal wounds, and bind families together forever. I would have looked anywhere and everywhere to find someone authorized to say to me and my beloved Patricia that our marriage in such a setting was sealed for time and all eternity, never to hear or have imposed on us the haunting curse “until death do you part.” I know that “in [our] Father’s house are many mansions,”6 but, speaking personally, if I were to be so fortunate as to inherit one of them, it could be no more to me than a decaying shack if Pat and our children were not with me to share that inheritance. And for our ancestors, some of whom lived and died anciently without even hearing the name of Jesus Christ, we would have hoped for that most just and merciful of biblical concepts to be restored—the practice of the living offering up saving ordinances on behalf of their kindred dead.7 No practice I can imagine would demonstrate with more splendor a loving God’s concern for every one of His earthly children no matter when they lived nor where they died.

Well, our 1820 list of hopes could go on, but perhaps the most important message of the Restoration is that such hopes would not have been in vain.
. . .
How many did you count? [~0 I placed my counters in afterwards.] Do you recognize the language? Who speaks like that?

Well he wasn't done. He went on to identify hopes or wishes we have today. . .

He names some I did not think anyone would mention! What daring. What courage. What imagination.

I know this is extremely long for a text message. Perhaps your cell didn't know how to handle it. . . Oh well. I love you and I tried. Vern [Steven Gibbs texted me his first response: Thanks. ]

No practice I can imagine would demonstrate with more splendor a loving God’s concern for every one of His earthly children no matter when they lived nor where they died.
I agree. Isn't that beautiful!

the speed of dark by elizabeth moon
Sunday, May 24, 2020
Welcome to 40 years old Louis!
This is my book of the year! I had no idea what I was getting into when I read it.
– I like retired library copies because the cover is well protected.
– I discovered the author, Elizabeth Moon, last year. She has science fiction and fantasy books I have enjoyed because of the character development she does.
– Because of coronavirus I had to start reading on my cell phone. I think this is the second one I have ever read on my cell phone. In this last decade I have discovered that my brother Adrian, is autistic! I have called him a painting “Savant” to flatter him. He has an autistic partner in Boise Idaho and he supports her and her two autistic children by driving truck for Cox trucking.
– He is extreme. Whatever he espouses he goes way overboard, almost!
– I used to torment him as a child. Vern 1955 versus Adrian 1960. 5/19/60
– I think heavenly father wanted me to let up/give him a break/reduce my teasing and tormenting.
– Heavenly Father sent me the same dream twice, about six months apart. Each dream had Adrian die and I was devastated. I realized how much I really loved him.
– We often tease and torture and push the buttons of those we really do love. So sad.
– I once asked Mark Clayton how mentally ill I was and if everyone was mentally ill to some degree?

Hardly – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Totally

After internalizing this entertaining book I couldn't help but wonder: How autistic am I?
Michael Meacham has aspergers syndrome just like Shea Langston. That is a type of autism. They now call it the Autistic Spectrum because there are so many different manifestations of them.
– There is an old saying that “some people/spirits are sent to this life to be tested, and others are here to test.”
– I wonder if autistics and down syndrome people are here “to test”.
– Jesus said of the blind man: “that the purposes of God might be made manifest.” John 9:3”Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.”
– As you probably know I have been in awe of your sacrifice and attention and care for Lincoln. You have given and served so much. Plus, you and Bonnie have been so grateful for every blessing and little miracle along the way. At times you have been so aware of God's help and support.
– Well, and this book there is a brief/fun/insightful glimpse into one autistics mind and heart.
As you can tell, I love it.
I love you.
I respect you.
I admire you.
Dad/Vern
PS. I used to think that everyone else had mental illness and their families. That it was far away from me. Now I see that I have it in my family. And with reason! I wonder how mentally ill my parents were and their parents etc. Notice I did not say “if” but rather “how much”!
PSS. “Deeds of Paksenarrion ” was a great series.

closed 46 days and counting

Sat. 4/25/20 Death counts of epidemics since the year 2000.

How does coronavirus compare? It took 520 days for swine flu to stop killing people. As you can see c19 is much more virulent. These are cumulative graphs. It is the total number that have died altogether.


Thursday 4/30/20 The last day of April! I don’t have a printer or I would have sent these to you long ago. Next, Elder Topham and his wife are the directors of FS. I suspect this letter was written by Sister Topham. She is the one who manages the grounds and cares so much about recording our histories. When I read it the first time I treated it like it came from Elder Marshall Topham and I felt an affinity for him because I absolutely loved this talk in General Conference. But now I have to change my mind. It is not my old teaching partner after all, (we shared a classroom in 1981).

Hello Everyone,

Forty-six days ago we closed our doors, where has the

time gone? It was still winter and now spring has arrived

and we are busy in our yards. I took another picture of the

grounds at the center; BEAUTIFUL!

This week, just for pure enjoyment I re-read Elder

Andersen’s general conference message given on Saturday

morning; “Spiritually Defining Memories”. Since

FamilySearch is all about memories I believed everyone could

connect with this message.

Joseph Smith, nearly two decades later reflected on his

spiritual journey welcoming in the Restoration. He penned:

“I don’t blame anyone for not believing my history. If I had

not experienced what I have, I would not have believed it

myself.” This was a spiritually defining moment for him. His

experiences were real and he never forgot or denied them.

Later he said, “What I received was from heaven. I know it,

and I know that God knows that I know it.”

When I read what Joseph. Smith said, and I think of my

own life’s spiritually defining experiences I join with Elder

Andersen’s plea; “Embrace your sacred memories. Believe

them. Write them down. Share them with your family...

Trust they come from Heavenly Father.”

I want to be able to rediscover my treasured spiritual

moments by writing them out on paper. To me I am saying;

“I know it, and I know God knows that I know it.” I love to

acknowledge and treasure the spiritually defining events in

my life. Hope you do too.

We miss you all, please take care!

Sincerely, Elder and Sister Topham

Engaged in a Good Cause

I am experimenting with the lds notebook. They have designed it to put my comments first! This date is when I made the comment->Sun, Apr 12, 2020

1. He must have been floored, shocked, stunned! All wrong? What?

2. What were all those angels doing?

3. He was filled with love for days, weeks, months afterwards! In my opinion that is what a change of heart feels like. :) I have been there. I have experienced that. Since God loves me so much, I can love everyone else.

*Shall We Not Go On in So Great a Cause? MRBallard

April 2020 general conference

He recalled: “They told me that all religious denominations were believing in incorrect doctrines, and that none of them was acknowledged of God as his church and kingdom. And … at the same time [I] receive[d] a promise that the fulness of the gospel should at some future time be made known unto me.”

Joseph also noted, “I saw many angels in this vision.”

Following this glorious vision, Joseph wrote: “My soul was filled with love, and for many days I could rejoice with great joy. … The Lord was with me.”

Tues. 4/21/20 Yay, the library is partly opening! Library System Offers New Curbside Pickup Service\Washington County Library System today announced that it will offer curbside pickup services to the patrons at all eight library branch locations beginning on Monday, April 20, 2020. “Our libraries form an integral cornerstone in the structure of our community. Working with the Library Board, the county is now able to safely begin the phasing in of essential library services to the public,” explained Commissioner Dean Cox. Curbside service will be available at each location. For times, please call your closest library branch. Curbside Service allows customers to pick up library materials that have been placed on hold. Washington County has coordinated with our Public Health Officer on curbside services as well as the procedures. Social distancing is still recommended in order to effectively serve library customers and adhere to public health guidelines. For a list branch numbers and hours of operation, please visit: www.library.washco.utah.gov

Curbside Pickup provides increased access to our library resources during the COVID-19 closure. As we continue to put our patrons at the heart of everything we do, we strive to offer services that are adapted to this unprecedented time. Curbside pickup will allow patrons to access physical items in addition to taking advantage of the outstanding online service provided. We hope that access to these great reading and movie materials will help alleviate some of the disruption to everyday life that has occurred as a result of the pandemic.

Curbside Pickup: How it Works

Place items on hold using the Library website catalog, or call in if you know what you are interested in. Identify your preferred library pickup location: St. George, Washington, Santa Clara, Hurricane, Enterprise, New Harmony, Hildale or Springdale.

Wait for email or text notice that your hold items are ready.

Request Curbside Service by calling your pickup branch.

Library staff will prepare your items for pickup.

Staff will contact you when your items are checked out and ready for you to pick up. Items must be picked up that day or scheduled appropriately.

Go to the Library's designated Curbside pickup branch. This will be marked by signage at each location.

Holds will be delivered to the cardholder once name verification has occurred.

When you arrive at the Library's pickup location, call the number listed on the sign for further instructions. Pickup locations for curbside service will be clearly marked and patrons and staff should strive to comply with social distancing recommendations.

Wait for delivery of materials. If your vehicle is equipped with automatic doors, please open them upon arrival.

I looked up a bunch of books last night and put them on hold. Although having someone read to me each day at 1.25x speed has not been bad at all. Why do I share this with you? Answer: New, novel experiences and adjustments.@Next. Louis and Bonnie, Lincoln, Grace came and visited and brought me green onions, new cucumber plants and smiles last night. What a pleasant surprise! I have been asking L if I can come visit about once a week. He dropped by twice last week to pick up delivery items. Yep, he had one to pick up yesterday as well. He showed Lincoln how to use the new electric chainsaw. He took almond tree firewood he had cut at my house to Warner Valley camping 2 weeks ago.

Louis says he is on furlough for the month of May. His kids did their homework even in Warner Valley. Worldmark won’t have many vacationers in Saint George and he sells timeshares.

That is TawnaB my ward’s RS president on the left. What follows are perfect instructions for joining the team! Do you remember how my bishop had the YM and YW compete the last 2 weeks before General Conference? Well, now the RS is doing it! I am so excited. This is my baby, bmx, I am the master indexer in my ward.

Relief Society: (2-Week Indexing Challenge with BH6 Ward) https://youtu.be/FyM4YukmpbA

Sisters, please take a few minutes to watch this video from Sister Buckway introducing a 2-week indexing challenge with the 6th Ward that begins today. Instructions to join the group is below:

Group to Join: BH 2 RS

Here's how to join the group:

1. Go to https://www.familysearch.org and sign in with your church username and password (if you don't have one, text or call a member of the Bishopric and we can help you set one up)

2. At the top menu, click on Indexing and then select Web Indexing from the dropdown menu.

3. About 1/2 way down the page, click on find groups, select find groups again from the dropdown menu.

4. In the search bar, type: BH 2 RS and click on the group name.

5. Click on the Request to Join tab.

Once you enter your request, the RS will go in and approve your request. Once the request has been approved, simply go back in and begin indexing and it will start counting your indexing towards your individual and group statistics.

Sister Audrey Wood not only teaches music at school but is our primary chorister. This is cutting edge Brandon! Not only does my bishop send out 2 messages a week but now the RS and Primary have videos on youtube. I love seeing people engaged in a good work and doing many things of their own free will to bring to pass much righteousness. That has been one of my main motivations in the last 40 years. And it looks like I share it with others. So fun. So wonderful. Of course I had to email each of these sisters and compliment them.

Did you know that FamilySearch.org offers 20 times more searchable records in English than in all other languages combined?

Happy St. Patty's day :-) March 14, 2020

Hey Vern, :-)

You are amazing, thank you for writing.(V – as silly as it may sound those words were music to my ears!)

Thank you for the ideas of female singers, though I do not have access to them.

Ah, I am happy to know that you are thoroughly engaged in good things. Cleaning can wait(matches me perfectly!-v), I'm sure I didn't have anything of importance in that last letter.

Please text or call my mom and make sure she knows that visiting is canceled until further notice. For an indeterminate amount of time: like my sentence.

I do think it's interesting that Mistelle chose a name that both men and women can have. I am a fan of Misha Barton.

It seems if I ever get out here, the first question upon meeting a lady will have to be: “were you born this way?” Said day.

Thank you for the topics, I heard Thomas S Monson give that delightful story.

Personal experiences bring the audience and closer with the speaker.

Keep smiling and doing good things. – Brandon

(Vern – it is Sunday morning March 29. After getting this letter from the mail I kept it on my kitchen table until today to read it. For some reason Brandon's letters make me nervous. But I found this letter very uplifting. Number one he signed with his name. Number two he likes the Thomas S Monson story. This is particularly pleasing because I so want him to feel spiritually inclined! Number three he gave me an assignment. Call or text his mom. Number four he for gave me for losing his last letter. Number five you thanked me for the music suggestions. Number six he made a wise crack about Misha Barton. Number seven he made a joke about his sentence being for an indeterminate amount of time.)

v-I also appreciate the fact that this is a mixed letter, to BMX. And no complaints.

*This is the second time I have posted this letter. I dictated it through Dragon speak then posted it at the bottom of the "Valentine's Day" entry. 

If you don't like the font you can change it. :)
Hey Britner, Sunday 3/29/20

Here comes the longest personal letter you have ever received! When I can't sleep at night I often listen to GC talks. This week I am in 2015. This is my 3rd time through them in the last 7 years since I retired. That first year, when I was bereft and lost and trying to find my way, highlighting and listening over and over again was the only major good thing/accomplishment I made in my life. It was like I was lost and grieving. Plus, since I fight PTSD, anxiety and depression I was really spiraling downward. I have a trust issue. The 15 men I trust are the apostles.

Gayelinn lives your life with you. What an empathetic mother! I wish I had one like that. She wants your closing year of HS to be special but here we are in disease isolation! She is so cute as she shares with me about you.

So as I heard this talk, back to back with his one from the previous night in priesthood meeting I couldn't help but think: “who can I share this with? It is so potent and rich there must be someone who can enjoy it as much as I am.” You came to mind. I like to comment along the way. [I will put my comments in brackets like this.] Don't feel a need to get through the whole thing right now. Just read as much as it takes to get full. Save the rest for later. I sent you an email this week of my stake's challenge letter and asked if that was as much as you were planning on memorizing. I know Gayelinn has challenged you to Memorize the first vision. It took me a year to memorize the discussions back in '74. I am not good at memorizing. How about you?

You vmailed me about your disappointment with the prom being cancelled. :( You also mentioned the great attitude the Chick-fil A out-front workers have. I got a free coupon once so I went there. It was a novel experience. The cow advertizements are hilarious. 4 years ago our FS directors used to buy a big lunch party tray for all the workers from Chick Fil A. They were very generous with their money. And they confessed that Chick Fil A gave them a fantastic deal. They closed on Sundays and I even got the feeling the managers were LDS.

Chick-fil-A

2.4 mi · 15 S River Rd Ste 500 · In Red Rock Commons

Closed ⋅ Opens 6:30AM Mon · (435) 656-4655 [it is Sunday. Notice the closed!]

Chick-fil-A

2.2 mi · Gardner Center, 225 S 700 E

(435) 652-7685 [looks like we have one on the DSU campus too.]

Not created by Chick-fil-A, . . .Did that make you smile? I just came across it on accident.

Brothers and sisters, how good it is to be with you once again. As you know, since we were together in April, we have been saddened by the loss of three of our beloved Apostles: President Boyd K. Packer, Elder L. Tom Perry, and Elder Richard G. Scott. They have returned to their heavenly home. [Really? A heavenly home? v- absolutely.] We miss them. How grateful we are for their examples of Christlike love and for the inspired teachings they have left to all of us. [BKP was tied for 1st place in my book. LTP was a marine through and through. RGS sounded like a therapist, man did he understand human nature.]

We extend a heartfelt welcome to our newest Apostles, Elder Ronald A. Rasband, Elder Gary E. Stevenson, and Elder Dale G. Renlund. These are men dedicated to the work of the Lord. They are well qualified to fill the important positions to which they have been called. [RAR is tied for 1st again. I don't yet trust him like I did BKP but he converted me when he shared his experience of assigning missionaries with HBEyring.]

Recently, as I have been reading and pondering the scriptures, two passages in particular have stayed with me. Both are familiar to us. The first is from the Sermon on the Mount: “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”1 The second scripture is one which came to my mind as I pondered the meaning of the first. It is from the Apostle Paul’s Epistle to Timothy: “Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”2

I believe the second scripture explains, in great part, how we can accomplish the first. We become examples of the believers by living the gospel of Jesus Christ in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. As we do so, our lights will shine for others to see.

Each of us came to earth having been given the Light of Christ. [I absolutely love the idea of the premortal existence.] As we follow the example of the Savior and live as He lived and as He taught, that light will burn within us and will light the way for others. [Be a light and not a judge.]

The Apostle Paul lists six attributes of a believer, attributes that will allow our lights to shine. Let us look at each one.

I mention the first two attributes together—being an example in word and in conversation. The words we use can lift and inspire, or they can harm and demean. In the world today there is a profusion of profanity with which we seem to be surrounded at nearly every turn. [Isn't it wonderful that there are some words that you and I never ever use! I believe that those words show a defiance, a rebellion against God. And man has Satan gotten that addiction twisted into some men's minds.] It is difficult to avoid hearing the names of Deity being used casually and thoughtlessly. Coarse comments seem to have become a staple of television, movies, books, and music. Bandied about are slanderous remarks and angry rhetoric. Let us speak to others with love and respect, ever keeping our language clean and avoiding words or comments that would wound or offend. May we follow the example of the Savior, who spoke with tolerance and kindness throughout His ministry. [almost. Except when he felt protective.]

The next attribute mentioned by Paul is charity, which has been defined as “the pure love of Christ.”3 I am confident there are within our sphere of influence those who are lonely, those who are ill, and those who feel discouraged. Ours is the opportunity to help them and to lift their spirits. [I get the feeling you have been a light and a support and a safe strength for your girl friend to lean on. And talk about admiration! How could her father show his adoration of you more than he did last Christmas!] The Savior brought hope to the hopeless and strength to the weak. He healed the sick; He caused the lame to walk, the blind to see, the deaf to hear. He even raised the dead to life. Throughout His ministry He reached out in charity to any in need. As we emulate His example, we will bless lives, including our own. [My live is empty without charity and service to others, including God.]

Next, we are to be an example in spirit. To me that means we strive to have in our lives kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, and goodwill. These qualities will provide for us a spirit which will touch the lives of those around us. It has been my opportunity through the years to associate with countless individuals who possess such a spirit. We experience a special feeling when we are with them, a feeling that makes us want to associate with them and to follow their example. They radiate the Light of Christ and help us feel His love for us. [We feel safe with them. And for G & I that is humongous.]

To illustrate that the light which comes from a pure and loving spirit is recognized by others, I share with you an experience of many years ago. [I absolutely love this next story!]

At that time, leaders of the Church met with officials in Jerusalem to work out a lease agreement for land on which the Church’s Jerusalem Center would be built. In order to obtain the permissions needed, the Church had to agree that no proselyting would be undertaken by our members who would occupy the center. After that agreement had been made, one of the Israeli officials, who was well acquainted with the Church and its members, remarked that he knew the Church would honor the no-proselyting agreement. “But,” he said, referring to the students who would attend there, “what are we going to do about the light that is in their eyes?”4 May that special light ever shine within us, that it might be recognized and appreciated by others. [Have you ever noticed how some people can smile at you and look right in your eyes? Yep, it shows!]

To be an example of faith means that we trust in the Lord and in His word. It means that we possess and that we nourish the beliefs that will guide our thoughts and our actions. Our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in our Heavenly Father will influence all that we do. Amidst the confusion of our age, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives. Remember that faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other. I reiterate what we have been told repeatedly—that in order to gain and to keep the faith we need, it is essential that we read and study and ponder the scriptures. Communication with our Heavenly Father through prayer is vital. We cannot afford to neglect these things, for the adversary and his hosts are relentlessly seeking for a chink in our armor, a lapse in our faithfulness. Said the Lord, “Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.”5

Finally, we are to be pure, which means that we are clean in body, mind, and spirit. We know that our body is a temple, to be treated with reverence and respect. [Satan doesn't have one.] Our minds should be filled with uplifting and ennobling thoughts and kept free from those things which will pollute. In order to have the Holy Ghost as our constant companion, we must be worthy. Brothers and sisters, purity will bring us peace of mind and will qualify us to receive the Savior’s promises. Said He, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”6 [yep, there is was!]

As we prove to be examples in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity, we will qualify to be lights to the world.

May I say to all of you, and particularly to you young people, that as the world moves further and further away from the principles and guidelines given to us by a loving Heavenly Father, we will stand out from the crowd because we are different. We will stand out because we dress modestly. We will be different because we do not use profanity and because we do not partake of substances which are harmful to our bodies. We will be different because we avoid off-color humor and degrading remarks. We will be different as we decide not to fill our minds with media choices that are base and demeaning and that will remove the Spirit from our homes and our lives. We will certainly stand out as we make choices regarding morality—choices which adhere to gospel principles and standards. Those things which make us different from most of the world also provide us with that light and that spirit which will shine in an increasingly dark world.

It is often difficult to be different and to stand alone in a crowd. It is natural to fear what others might think or say. Comforting are the words of the psalm: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”7 As we make Christ the center of our lives, our fears will be replaced by the courage of our convictions.

Life is perfect for none of us, and at times the challenges and difficulties we face may become overwhelming, causing our light to dim. [He knows it. Can you hear the understanding and gentleness is his words? I know of 3 major challenges and difficulties in your life Britner. You probably even know of many more of the lesser ones. Your genes, your father, & your mother's imperfections. I am the same, only moreso. It took G & I decades to realize we are walking wounded.] However, with help from our Heavenly Father, coupled with support from others, we can regain that light which will illuminate our own path once again and provide the light others may need.

To illustrate, I share with you the touching words of a favorite poem I first read many years ago:

I met a stranger in the night
Whose lamp had ceased to shine.

I paused and let him light

His lamp from mine.

A tempest sprang up later on

And shook the world about.

And when the wind was gone

My lamp was out!

But back to me the stranger came—

His lamp was glowing fine!

He held the precious flame

And lighted mine!8

My brothers and sisters, our opportunities to shine surround us each day, in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. As we follow the example of the Savior, ours will be the opportunity to be a light in the lives of others, whether they be our own family members and friends, our co-workers, mere acquaintances, or total strangers.

To each of you, I say that you are a son or daughter of our Heavenly Father. You have come from His presence to live on this earth for a season, to reflect the Savior’s love and teachings, and to bravely let your light shine for all to see. When that season on earth has ended, if you have done your part, yours will be the glorious blessing of returning to live with Him forever. [Man if we could only believe and know this! In the meantime, just pretend and act like it. :) ]

How reassuring are the Savior’s words: “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”9 Of Him I testify. He is our Savior and Redeemer, our Advocate with the Father. He is our Exemplar and our strength. He is “the light which shineth in darkness.”10 That each of us within the sound of my voice may pledge to follow Him, thus becoming a shining light to the world, is my prayer in His holy name, even Jesus Christ the Lord, amen.

Post comments: ( I did not want to interrupt the flow. )

I believe the second scripture explains, in great part, how we can accomplish the first. We become examples of the believers by living the gospel of Jesus Christ in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, and in purity. [Last year I memorized the beatitudes as found in the BoM. I was fascinated that one of them invites us to see God! Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. Being pure in heart is a life long challenge for me.] A page essay could be written about each of those aspects: co, ch, sp, fa, pu. Such a concentration of wisdom is time consuming to comprehend. Let's just skim for now. :)

To be an example of faith means that we trust in the Lord and in His word. It means that we possess and that we nourish the beliefs that will guide our thoughts and our actions. [There is my word TRUST again! Remember how I said I only trust the 15 apostles. And then notice how he used the word nourish. How do you nourish your beliefs? I have things I have memorized that I recite to ease my mind and remind me of my goals and beliefs. But that is just one way. I can think of 5 more. How about you?]

an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives. [My patriarchal blessing tells me I will be an anchor to my family. I turn 65 this year. It is becoming truer and truer. I always wondered how but now I think I understand.]

-faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time [In his next sentences he seems to say otherwise. Personally I think it is a continuum. With faith on one side and doubt on the other.

Faith- - - - - - - - - - X - - - - - - - - - -Doubt

Maybe perfect faith or doubt can't exist in the same mind at the same time! But perfect faith would be knowledge. As would perfect doubt. I don't know. This confuses me.]

Communication with our Heavenly Father through prayer is vital. [Did you notice the c word? Most of us turn away when we sin. We feel ashamed. We don't want to communicate. Like Huck Finn says, “you can't pray a lie.” Like James says: “with real intent”. I am alone Britner. I talk to HF all the time. I pretend he is my best friend. I pretend he is my best cheerleader. And sometimes I actually feel it.]

-for the adversary and his hosts [I ignored these guys for my 20's and 30's. I still do. But the war goes on. They are very real. The prophet says so! And the BoM has some antichrists that are perfect examples of exposing the adversary's teachings. That is one of the strengths of the BoM.]

purity will bring us peace of mind and will qualify us to receive the Savior’s promises. Said He, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”6 [yep, there is was!]

We will be different as we decide not to fill our minds with media choices that are base and demeaning and that will remove the Spirit from our homes and our lives. [I love Science Fiction. Sometimes stuff is off color in science fiction. Does that mean I don't read SF? Nope. Eventually when I am in the next life I may quit. But we don't have to be perfect right now. We are here to live and learn. Perhaps those children who die before the age of 8 and inherit the celestial kingdom are already perfect in that way. But until I am celestial in my mind I don't have to give up pleasureful things in this life. HF will ease me into perfection. He is not demanding it right now. In fact, he wants us to be turned to him and dependent on him and JC. It might sound crazy but he sent us here because we needed to sin. We needed to learn the good from the bad, by choice/ agency.

So what am I really saying? When we try we progress. We don't have to accomplish extreme things. He will take our reasonably best efforts.]

As we make Christ the center of our lives, our fears will be replaced by the courage of our convictions. [Powerful! Powerful! That is how it works.]

“I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” [This is the way we have purpose in our lives. This is the way that G & I have purpose and understanding in our lives.]

Personal story:

I did not feel enough love at home. I sought it out at school. From kindergarten on I so wanted to be accepted and loved. I could tell you 10 different ways I tried. But let's skip to my senior year. I had gone to many monthly tristake dances. I so wanted to find a girl friend. But by the same token, I knew that kisses were special. My dad had said he did not kiss my mother until they were engaged. Woah! What a standard!

Even though I played tons of kissing tag in kindergarten and first grade I figured those were not the kind of kisses my father was talking about. (By the way, Mom lived in Toronto, Canada and Dad sent her engagement ring in the mail.)

I had written love notes in elementary and the ones I wrote in Jr. High sometimes had lingering consequences even into HS!

Since my buddy Glenn had kissed an auburn haired loose girl I figured I could try her too. She got impatient. It took me hours at her house to get up the courage and lots of talk. She then said, “you're not planning on just a flat kiss are you? That's not worth anything. You need to french.” Yep, my first teenage kiss was a french kiss. . .

What a terrible first step! (BTW, as you probably know I am a risk taker.) But I was off and running. I was an expert. I had french kissed!

I tried to dress cool. I tried to have my hair cool. Even though I was straight/ square and took great pride in knowing the scriptures I wanted to be a “catch” and to catch someone else.

The apostles tell us to do group activities as teens. Group dating and so on. No way! For me it was one on one. I needed that relationship richness and loyalty.

Mom was a brunet. I wanted blonde. I got in with a tall pretty blonde in my ward and school. She moved in so there was no history.

Jeanine S was steady #1

Susan S was steady #2

Shauna C was steady #3 . . . was this dream come true. So how does all this dating and relationship stuff work anyway? I didn't know. And I had no one I trusted that knew. A d v e n t u r e ! I admit, I gave Shauna my heart. We spent as many hours together as we could. After dates we necked on her back porch. After all I was a kissing expert!

My dad picked me'55 and Brent'57 up after school each day and had us help him painting. He paid us well. I had missed all the deadlines for getting into BYU but dad heard that they were opening for summer term. I had money to pay my way from painting. I commuted that first term with 3 teachers going down each day from Sandy. They were the most interesting people. English teacher, Brother Ash from my ward had taken a special interest in me. He became a vice-principal and was a new move in and served as a counselor in the bishopric.

I wasn't all the way there Britner. My world view was all distorted and paranoid. In fact my dad moved us to Dietrich, Idaho the next year to avoid the “crash”, so we could raise our own food. While on my mission they moved to Saint George because the only ones that were affected by the crash was us! He needed painting work. None in Dietrich. My brother and I invested in silver bars that we drilled a hole in the basement floor and installed a safe to hide them in. That was the mentality of my family. And that is only one physical evidence of the craziness in our minds. No trust!

Well, since I knew the ropes of registering after having done it for summer term, and since Shauna wanted to be a nurse and I a veterinarian we had similar beginning classes to take. I pulled two cards for us for English, Chemistry, Religion and perhaps other classes that fall. We now spent every day together and most of our classes. I still didn't know how to make my mind work. I tried to study but what is studying? (I got a D in genealogy that summer and a C in Spanish 201) She got a C in Chemistry that fall and after we wrote our English papers she would type them. I couldn't type worth a darn. It was a disaster. She and our buddy Jared Dunn ran out of money and went home at the end of fall semester. I at least had money so I was lonely and lost winter semester. But I was dedicated to the Lord. I took a volunteer BoM class that semester from my same teacher, while I took a missionary prep class from Eldon Ricks

Guess what happened to Shauna and Jared? Yep, they started dating! And they kept it secret. . . I was far away in Provo, long distant phone calls were too expensive. Little did I know but I was losing my steady.

She didn't want to kiss anymore after I drove clear up to Sandy and back to take her to a BYU dance. What? Has something changed. She was my spiritual perfect match! Bosom buddy. Soulmate!

Of course I felt guilty about all the necking we had done and I went to the bishop to repent, and encouraged her to do the same. (that bishop's visit was an experience in itself. Ask me to share sometime.)

While I was commuting to BYU in the summer with those 3 teachers Shauna and her mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday. July 16. I told them a portrait of Shauna. And that is what I got! A full page portrait!

Jared was called to the Guatemala/El Salvador mission. And off he went. After winter semester I went to my new home on the farm in Dietrich, Idaho. Population 88.

I traveled to a Tupperware factory in Jerome, Idaho to work since there wasn't enough painting. Hagerman is where my next girlfriend lived.

Merilee Ellis steady #4

She was the cutest girl at the dances and young adult activities. I was so heartbroken with my loss of Shauna that I prayed to HF to please send me a replacement so I could heal my broken heart.

Can you see Jerome halfway between Dietrich and Hagerman? Twin Falls at the bottom was the nearest big city.

In fact, it wasn't until Shauna got married that it really sank in that we would not be an eternal couple. She married Merlin who was tall and played basketball with us from another ward on Saturday early morning at the church, but that we thought was a dork. [evidently we were wrong.]

HF answered my prayer. But my heart wasn't all the way sold on Merilee like it still was on Shauna. HF knew that with my disabilities and broken past I needed a female partner. He helped me. Merilee and her mother came to see me off in SLC when I entered the mission home. And I wrote her diligently 'til she married as well.

Sidelight: Brunet Merilee turned her head the first time I tried to kiss her. I got her cheek. I wondered if she learned that from her mother or what. It did not stop my pursuing her. Next, I wouldn't kiss or hug Merilee at the mission home to say goodbye. But her mother insisted I hug her. I was a missionary, and I was taking it seriously.

In my heartache but righteousness I sent Elder Jared Dunn the portrait all the way in/ to El Salvador. (I so wanted to be righteous and do the right thing.) Low and behold I left for Guatemala in November! The same mission! And stories came back to me about Elder Dunn's beautiful girlfriend. I was able to tell them that I had given him the portrait of Shauna.

By the way Jared and Shauna had eventually confessed that they were going steady. No wonder Shauna did not want to kiss. Perhaps that is evidence of her sense of loyalty. Jared had said that a girl had ruined his relationship with a guy in the past and that if it was going to ruin our friendship he would give Shauna up. I would sleep over at Jared's when I went to Sandy to visit Shauna. Pretty convoluted huh! Well, that is how relationships are sometimes.

Elder Dunn and I only crossed paths a couple of times in the mission field, but we did room together again after our missions.

Confession:

I was the oldest in my family. I was the biggest. When mom and dad were gone and I was baby sitting I was not always the nicest. We had a pecking order and I wanted to be on top. That characteristic extended into my boy girl relationships. Sometimes I would have my arm around Shauna's shoulder and then trip her with my leg. Familiarity breeds contempt? Perhaps. Yes, I apologized and repented but sometimes it just popped out again. So mean! I hate meanness/cruelty. But I was at times.

So, there is a good portion of my story of life at your age. You have some huge immersions coming up. You will be immersed into the world of adults and totally in charge of yourself. You will be immersed in gaining a profession.

I never dared to ask the hard questions of anyone I admired and trusted. It wasn't until my 5 years of therapy with Mark Clayton that I experienced that novel, wonderful experience. Truly listening and accepting someone like he offered me took me years to get used to. I felt judged and lacking or adequate until then. One or the other. And I hated being found wanting!

I am so glad that you know about support groups and people that can accept and offer assistance/ a helping hand. Being inadequate in one area or another does not make us invaluable. And if we accept our drawbacks it can make us humble and worthy of God's help.

OK, I promised you the longest personal letter you have ever received. Did I win?

I love you Britner.

You are so kind and faithful and caring in so many ways.

You are also a nerd. :)

God bless you,

Uncle Vern