Hello Brandon, Saturday, August 02, 2014 7:05p
Do you ever read with a
pen in hand? I just read through letter #2 from you with a black pen since you
wrote in blue. I checked off paragraphs that I understood. I wrote yep in
places where I agreed. I made O marks in places that were unfinished: where I
needed to do something like ”The book of mormon and the constitution” book O,
and the talk by Linda S. Reeves “Protection from Pornography- a Christ centered
home” O p15 may’14 Ensign. I draw smiley faces when you make jokes, (you made
two: adopt a stripper club, learning from a horses hoof). Sometimes I will draw a fulcrum and a lever
to show a balance. And sometimes make
comments to add perspective so a statement can be more true.
You may have noticed that
you sometimes reference scriptures but that I don’t. I like your references. Letter
#2 had: D&C 1:38, 6:36, Titus 1:15.( 15 Unto the pure all things are pure:
but unto them that aredefiled and
unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mindand conscience is defiled.)
The other two I have memorized, like you evidently.
You get
the idea of how I am processing your letters.
Here are some letter items:
.you have no internet
access
.no words to describe
personal prayer effectiveness
.interested in Lucy Mack
Smith’s history
.amazon.com is a Godsend.
.tall Gary Caldwell is a
way gifted musician/orchestra conductor that teaches at DSU
.porn definition
.have I written
“meaningful communication” Answer: Yes you have. Very meaningful!
Unfinished business from
my letter. 7/17/14 Do your eyes do well with reading? About 10 years ago I
noticed one eye did better than the other. When I got my first pair of
prescription reading glasses it made my evening much more enjoyable. O (1+)
That number means I asked you a question and you don’t have to copy it to answer. See
how smart and efficient we can be!
2+) You said you thought
Youtube had gone down hill. Do you have
access to Youtube? I would think not.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Friday, August 08, 2014
I just read your Aug 4
letter Monday. Questions:
1.
What do you
mean that the crayons are a restricted item and you will have to get them out?
2.
You sound like
you read all of Visions of Glory by john Pontius before you had had the book a week! I couldn’t put it down when I got it. I was
just like that. *And I agree with not
wanting to read anything else he wrote. So disappointing to me! So how long to
read the book? O
3.
Bruce Randall
is two years older than I and I started home teaching him last month. I gave
him my copy of VofG with writing all over it and an untouched copy so he can
get his own opinions before he reads mine.
I shared the book with Jerry Buys last year and he only liked up to p
69. He was offended at the author at that point and quit. Carl Hardman had open
heart surgery Spring ’13 and I shared it with him in September’13. He had had
similar experiences and it was fascinating to compare. He loved the book and
his kid read it and they all wanted copies for Christmas. See what fun I have with sharing! You sound
like you are ready for Lucy Mack Smith’s history. I was wondering how you would handle VoG. It is
amazing to me that your conscience and sensitivity to the HG are working so
well. So I did not ask any specific questions for #3 but just confirmations. Do
you agree type responses.
4.
Do you have to pay for envelopes and stamps?
5.
Do you
ever skip a meal or fast?
6.
Would you ever
dare to sing a hymn aloud?
7.
I have ageed
that kneeling is important when praying. I kneel about once a week when I
really want HF to know How grateful I am. Most of the time I just pray in bed.
Much more comfortable. Bruce Randall knelt with us for the closing prayer at
our HT visit. He said he never did that with his parents but they did that
before dinner at his grandfather’s house.
How often do you kneel?
So
I am going to tease you Now:
If
I send you a copy of your suggested talk about a “Christ Centered Home” will
you write beside each paragraph something you liked or didn’t like, agreed with
or disagreed with, something it reminded you of, or something you would like to
understand better?
I
know this will be uncomfortable because you have never done it before. It might
not make sense but just try it for me.
Tease
over. My take on Visions of Glory.
I
loved it and so wanted every word to be true. And even though far-fetched I
really loved the idea of one of the 10 tribes living underground for thousands of years and Spencer being the one
to be their emissary. His special calling! And they had glow in the dark light
sources. It was so cool. Their own prophets and their own scriptures what more
could I ask for!
The
idea of leaving one’s body and perceiving all the different kinds of spirits
around, to have the ability to move through walls and detect the shadows of
past events from desks and once living things, to know an accept the sum total
of a nurse’s life or anyone else one meets without judgement, just
understanding all these were unfathomable and so cool to me.
The
queen of science fiction is Andre Norton. She was always border-line and had
lesbians in some of her books. She wrote some where aliens species could
communicate with humans they loved telepathically. Oh I loved that idea. And
Spencer could do it!
OK,
enough along those lines. I think you get the drift.
So
last week’s letter had: Voices of the
Past, of the Present, of the Future
Spencer
W. Kimball, April 1971 General Conference! And you did not get the urge to
study it and write all over it. I put
that letter in the mail box on Friday afternoon. Just like I will this one. And
you responded to it on Monday Aug 4.
That means you got it just over the weekend. Cool!
Your
letter may have gotten here before today but I haven’t checked since Tuesday.
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From:
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To:
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missymusic
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Sent:
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Friday,
25 July 2014, 11:44 AM
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Subject:
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A
comment about your profile
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0 Children/ 0 at home
is what it says, and divorced.
Mine says 6children/ 0at home, and divorced too.
There are only 150 of us on line right now 11:38am Friday.
I started at the oldest sister 77, and have written 5 down to you 48. You are
the prettiest so far. 5'9" is a wonderful ht.
I lived in upper state New York in '70. We had a farm and dad was a travelling
salesman. We had to milk the two Canadian Holsteins for there was no one else!
Luckily we had a milking machine. But carrying the insulated milk can from the
barn to the roadside in 2 feet of snow and blizzard conditions was man
building!
WE learned a lot that year.
Check me out you outgoing, charming, intelligent, dedicated sister!
Vern
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From:
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Sent:
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Friday,
25 July 2014, 12:09 PM
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Subject:
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RE:
A comment about your profile
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Vern,
you seem to holster a lot of energy and like to talk and provide information.
Are you also a good listener?
I also am a high energy person so I know what that is like. I love animals but
prefer cats. I now have one cat cause one died. I love her . Her name is
Wednesday.
I am the oldest of 4 and was born in Utah but then we moved to NY when was 2
for my Father's job. He was in radio and worked for an LDS owned radio station
in NYC.
We enjoyed NYC very much. It has many things to enjoy. The
culture,music,museums, the arts and the theater. My hobbies are
cooking,cleaning(I am a neat freak)playing with my nephews and nieces.,church
work and helping the RS prez with assignments she gives me as it is my calling.
I enjoy languages and Speak a little of about 7 languages- Spanish fluently.
That is a little about me for today.
hear from you later?
Melissa
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From:
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To:
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missymusic
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Sent:
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Saturday,
26 July 2014, 11:40 PM
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Subject:
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listener
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I am going to laugh as I answer this. lol
Are you also a good listener?
Answers:
1- My principal told me I was in '85. Her name was Francis Christensen. She sat
with us at a Jr High lunch room table one day and I responded to Dean Hansen
also a science teacher in reflective/active listening patterns. He usually had
little to say. But that day he just kept going. Afterwards Francis said, You
sure are a good listener. I was so proud. Someone finally noticed!
2- I had two different girlfriends this last year on ldssingles.com who liked
to talk for hours. They were so needy. Sometimes I was able to keep involved in
the conversation but sometimes I would just watch the minute hand pass the 12
numbers. Notice I did not say second hand.
3- I learn so much better in school when it is spoken than reading. I think
listening is a joy especially when it comes to General Conference talks and
good music.
4- I won't have to worry about being a good listener for you until we talk.
Writing and reading on this site is so short! One needn't have much endurance.
If that time ever comes I think you will find me one of the most active
listeners you have ever met.
Vern
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From:
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To:
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missymusic
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Sent:
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Saturday,
26 July 2014, 11:45 PM
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Subject:
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Melissa
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missymusic wrote:
Vern,
you seem to holster a lot of energy and like to talk and provide information.
Are you also a good listener? SENT
I also am a high energy person so I know what that is like. I love animals but
prefer cats. I now have one cat cause one died. I love her . Her name is
Wednesday. GLAD YOU HAVE A PET TO LOVE. IT IS SO GOOD FOR US.
I am the oldest of 4 and was born in Utah but then we moved to NY when was 2
for my Father's job. He was in radio and worked for an LDS owned radio station
in NYC. HOW INTERESTING.
We enjoyed NYC very much. It has many things to enjoy. The
culture,music,museums, the arts and the theater. I HAVE 3 DANCING DAUGHTERS AND
THEY LOVE NYC! My hobbies are cooking,cleaning(I am a neat freak)playing with
my nephews and nieces HELPFUL AND KIND,church work and helping the RS prez with
assignments she gives me as it is my calling. IT IS SO AWESOME TO BE ABLE TO BE
SOMEONES HELPER AND BE APPRECIATED FOR IT!
I enjoy languages and Speak a little of about 7 languages- Spanish fluently.
COOL.
That is a little about me for today.
hear from you later? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!
Melissa
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From:
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Sent:
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Sunday,
27 July 2014, 05:13 AM
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Subject:
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RE:
listener
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Thanks Vern for letting m know and for
responding so quickly. You seem like a lovely person and some one I would like
to get to know better. Did you serve a mission for the church? I went of all
places to SLC Utah on my mission But I loved it.
I am scrambling right now to get ready for early church service . Ours start at
9 am. So I have to split like a banana and start primping like all us pretty
women do.
So I gotta run but will write you more later. Okay. Cool beans!!!
Melissa
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From:
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Sent:
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Sunday,
27 July 2014, 06:38 AM
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Subject:
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RE:
listener
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Hi Vern
If you would like to call me at my home phone please feel free to do so. It is
914-630-2440. I believe there is a time difference of a couple of hours but I
am not sure. Maybe you know.
I look forward to getting to know you . Yous seem like a lot of fun and reminds
me a little of myself. With a lot of energy and enthusiasm and love for life.
That is a great thing. I like that quality in a man. Not a dullard who sits on
the couch all day. You seem active. I like that--I think you said you had kids.
That is great. I never had that chance. I would love someday to be a step
mother. Well more of a friend because they already have a Mother.
I am now ready for church and waiting on my ride to show . Have a great Sabbath
day!!!
I love Sunday's!!!
Fondly,
Melissa Bench
Brandon, These are exchanges from a singles
website called LDSsingles.com. It costs
money to join. I spend $42 for six months.
Much better than 20$/month. I
have now called this sister twice. She speaks a mile a minute.
As you know I am divorced. 3 years next
month, September. My oldest daughter ’84 admitted it is a pain for her and her
4 kids to be the child of divorced parents.
So sad. I agree.
I started trying out this website about 6
months after I was divorced. So this is my most recent acquaintance/friend
girl.
I am including it on the back of the two
pages I wrote you just for variety. I intended to print my letter back to back
but it printed both pages at once, so this can fill the space.
When you see all caps it means I am
responding on/in her letter and returning it back to her so She knows where the
response fit. It is sort of like you and
I just numbering our answers to questions and not having to write the whole
thing over again.
Are you interested in following along.
Should I keep you updated? Your
option.
Vern
======================================================
Protection from
Pornography—a Christ-Focused Home
By
Linda S. Reeves
Second Counselor in the
Relief Society General Presidency
The
greatest filter in the world … is the personal internal filter that comes from
a deep and abiding testimony.
Dear
brothers and sisters, today I am blessed to have my 13 oldest grandchildren in
the congregation. This has caused me to ask, “What do I want my grandchildren
to know?” This morning I would like to talk frankly to my family and to yours.
We as
leaders are increasingly concerned about the destruction that pornography is
causing in the lives of Church members and their families. Satan is attacking
with unprecedented fury.
One reason
we are here on earth is to learn to manage the passions and feelings of our
mortal bodies. These God-given feelings help us want to marry and have
children. The intimate marriage relationship between a man and a woman that
brings children into mortality is also meant to be a beautiful, loving
experience that binds together two devoted hearts, unites both spirit and body,
and brings a fulness of joy and happiness as we learn to put each other first.
President Spencer W. Kimball taught that in marriage, “the spouse …
becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and … [no] other interest
[or] person [or] thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse. …
“Marriage
presupposes total allegiance and total fidelity.”1
Many years
ago one of our children was noticeably distressed. I stepped into her bedroom,
where she opened up her heart and explained to me that she had been at a
friend’s home and had accidentally seen startling and disturbing images and
actions on the television between a man and a woman without clothing. She began
sobbing and expressed how horrible she felt about what she had seen and wished
she could get it out of her mind. I was so grateful that she would confide in
me, giving me a chance to soothe her innocent and aching heart and help her
know how to get relief through our Savior’s Atonement. I remember the sacred
feelings I had as we knelt together, as mother and daughter, and petitioned the
help of our Heavenly Father.
Many
children, youth, and adults are innocently exposed to pornography, but a
growing number of both men and women are choosing to view it and are drawn back
repeatedly until it becomes an addiction. These individuals may desire with all
of their hearts to get out of this trap but often cannot overcome it on their own.
How grateful we are when these loved ones choose to confide in us as parents or
a Church leader. We would be wise not to react with shock, anger, or rejection,
which may cause them to be silent again.
We as
parents and leaders need to counsel with our children and youth on an ongoing
basis, listening with love and understanding. They need to know the dangers of
pornography and how it overtakes lives, causing loss of the Spirit, distorted
feelings, deceit, damaged relationships, loss of self-control, and nearly total
consumption of time, thought, and energy.
Pornography
is more vile, evil, and graphic than ever before. As we counsel with our
children, together we can create a family plan with standards and boundaries,
being proactive to protect our homes with filters on electronic devices.
Parents, are we aware that mobile devices with Internet capacity, not
computers, are the biggest culprit?2
Young
people and adults, if you are caught in Satan’s trap of pornography, remember
how merciful our beloved Savior is. Do you realize how deeply the Lord loves
and cherishes you, even now? Our Savior has the power to cleanse and heal you.
He can remove the pain and sorrow you feel and make you clean again through the
power of His Atonement.
We as
leaders are also greatly concerned about the spouses and families of those
suffering from pornography addiction. ElderRichard G. Scott has pleaded: “If you are free of serious sin yourself,
don’t suffer needlessly the consequences of another’s sins. … You can feel
compassion. … Yet you should not take upon yourself a feeling of responsibility
for those acts.”3 Know
that you are not alone. There is help. Addiction recovery meetings for spouses
are available, including phone-in meetings, which allow spouses to call in to a
meeting and participate from their own homes.
Brothers
and sisters, how do we protect our children and youth? Filters are useful
tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately
work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding
testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for
each one of us.
How do we
lead our children to deep conversion and to access our Savior’s Atonement? I
love the prophet Nephi’s declaration of what his people did to fortify the
youth of his day: “We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of
Christ, [and] we prophesy of Christ … that our children may know to what
source they may look for a remission of their sins.”4
How can we
do this in our homes? Some of you have heard me tell how overwhelmed my
husband, Mel, and I felt as the parents of four young children. As we faced the
challenges of parenting and keeping up with the demands of life, we were
desperate for help. We prayed and pleaded to know what to do. The answer that
came was clear: “It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in
their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that
really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer
and weekly family home evening.”
We were
trying to do these things, but they were not always the priority and, amidst
the chaos, were sometimes neglected. We changed our focus and tried not to
worry about the less-important things. Our focus became to talk, rejoice, preach, and
testify of Christ by striving to daily pray and study the scriptures and have
weekly family home evening.
A friend
recently cautioned, “When you ask the sisters to read the scriptures and pray
more, it stresses them out. They already feel like they have too much to do.”
Brothers
and sisters, because I know from my own experiences, and those of my husband, I
must testify of the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly
family home evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress,
give direction to our lives, and add protection to our homes. Then, if
pornography or other challenges do strike our families, we can petition the
Lord for help and expect great guidance from the Spirit, knowing that we have
done what our Father has asked us to do.
Brothers
and sisters, if these have not been practices in our homes, we can all begin
now. If our children are older and refuse to join us, we can start with
ourselves. As we do, the influence of the Spirit will begin to fill our homes
and our lives and, over time, children may respond.
Remember
that living Apostles have also promised that as we search out our ancestors and
prepare our own family names for the temple, we will be protected now and
throughout our lives as we keep ourselves worthy of a temple recommend.5 What
promises!
Youth, take
responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. Turn off your phone if
necessary, sing a Primary song, pray for help, think of a scripture, walk out
of a movie, picture the Savior, take the sacrament worthily, study For the
Strength of Youth, be
an example to your friends, confide in a parent, go see your bishop, ask for
help, and seek professional counseling, if needed.
What do I
want my grandchildren to know? I want them and you to know that I know the
Savior lives and loves us. He has paid the price for our sins, but we must
kneel before our Father in Heaven, in deep humility, confessing our sins, and
plead with Him for forgiveness. We must want to change our hearts and our
desires and be humble enough to seek the help and forgiveness of those we may
have hurt or forsaken.
I know that
Joseph Smith saw God, our Heavenly Father, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. I
testify that we have a living prophet upon the earth, President Thomas S. Monson. I also testify that we will never be led astray if
we heed the counsel of the prophet of God. I testify of the power of our
covenants and the blessings of the temple.
I know that
the Book of Mormon is true! I cannot explain the power of this great book. I
only know that, coupled with prayer, the Book of Mormon carries the power to
protect families, strengthen relationships, and give personal confidence before
the Lord. I testify of these things in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen.
