Wonderful creative apology!

Hey Janessa Borgeson,

Would you like to read part II of the Kingdom and the Crown when I am done?

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My heck! Who would ask me such a stupid question? Only one person that I know of. Hello Janessa. I went fishing to Ottercreek R. after our neighborhood Memorial Day picnic Monday night. I started thinking about a number of facts and trying to make sense of them:

1- Some one yelled “be quiet” as I was anticipating Cameron's blessing on the food.

2- Your head was covered with your daughter’s head on your blanket as you lay on your side.

3- I teased Josh about Greg Brailsford touching his chicken. I pointed you out to Josh looking out of sorts on the blanket and he replied but I couldn't hear.

4- Quincy and Sunni invited me to get some food from clear over at their blanket or chairs and I responded, I wait til last so no one minds if I eat it all.

5- I brought your BBQ'd chicken over to you later because you hadn't had any. I said I had wanted to meet the chef.

6- You said Josh would eat left overs but not you. I replied, those are left overs, that is BBQ'd chicken.

7- I watched you trash the remains of your salad and take a sack to put your chicken in.

All in all I wondered if I had been offending you. I taught Jr High Science and I often try to entertain and facilitate things. If you have ever been to our SS class or a Ward Fast and Testimony meeting I am sure you have heard me.

I know a family in the ward who couldn't wait to move out because of Hal Demke's comments in SS. So if I am like him I can imagine others might be offended by me and my actions. As you can tell I have done a lot of pondering on this fishing trip.

You have probably noticed that the most comfortable way for boys to show acceptance or affection is to tease. I tease regularly, and I hope sensitively, versus hurtfully.

I have gotten in trouble before from Bishop Adams. I took a picture in sacrament meeting, I had the audience stand for a closing hymn, someone in the ward took offense at my blog. So anytime he says something to me I wonder if I am making another mistake. I am adventurous and a risk taker. So apologizing comes with the territory. And if I need to apologize I sure want to.

Yesterday when the fishing slowed in the afternoon I sat and read “Spencer W Kimball”. The last time was about 30+ years ago.

I have not enjoyed it much this time. It seems filled with pain and suffering. He was called to be a stake president in 1938. Two years later while attending a stake conference he wrote his wife a letter, October 4, 1940. He was used to 14-16 hour days and to sleep in a comfortable motel and wake up with nothing he could work on in the morning before 10am conference about drove him crazy.

I would like you to read the letter he wrote his wife starting on page 175. He talks about his faults, eccentricities and crankiness. What a confession! So by the same token please forgive me for mine.

Just in case you missed the last sentence: Please forgive me for mine.

You may keep this copy of Spencer W. Kimball if you are interested in reading it. If not you can return it to me.

God bless you.

Thank you for letting me get to know you.

Respectfully,

Vern Jensen

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I wrote in my journal today that after all the heartache and worry of Monday and Tuesday, when I woke up Wednesday morning I felt capable. Why delay for days or weeks? Why wait until next month to find out if she is still angry with me or not? Let's take this bull by the horns and face it, using my favorite tools: humor, transparency and writing.  It cleared my mind and chest and shoulder (chip) and got me the opposite. Excited to hear back! Hoping it might be a little seed of faith to watered and germinated.  No such luck.

Just like I had geared up and rang their doorbell, I imagine Josh geared up and rang mine. They were not home so I left it on their half brick shelf next to the door. He did the same at my house on Saturday. No response from Janessa and barely a response from him:

"No reason to be concerned. We are not offended.

Thanks,
Josh"

I called and visited with Camille about many things last night. I had sent her a copy and she enjoyed it and thought it was delightful.  I told her about the minimal response as well.

Oh well. Who knows. I may have been addressing my ghosts instead of theirs! : )

Kim Garrett and Bonnie Carter both talked of  "promptings" today. I loved Kim saying he never used to pay any attention to them. And since he has started visiting those he feels prompted to he hasn't had any bad experiences.  BonnieC spoke of being prompted to discontinue her TV provider and even asking Quinn  to be there with her when she called so that when they offered her new and better deals she would be able/ have courage to turn them down. She succeeded.