I was surprised at how little anyone remembered. Perhaps because I was abused and a Jr High teacher for so many years I had a chance to remember, plus an extension in adulthood. Louis said he really didn't remember and he and Bonnie gave me a $50 gift card to Walmart so they were totally covered.
I was so pleased and surprised to have Carol contribute. I wrote her a limerick for her birthday.
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Jun 6
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If any of you would like to wish me a happy father's day this is my request. Tell me how you feel personally about people who flip their middle finger, when did you find out what it meant, the process you have gone through deciding to use it or not.
I rode my bike to Walmart this afternoon and I thought this would make a most interesting little book.
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My story, composed on the spot. The Bird
We had a semi-active catholic family that lived across the street when I lived on Sunflower Lane in Sandy. (Ages 4-18) They had 4 boys and Bobby Peterson was my age and a real bruiser. He had more broken hands than anyone I ever knew from getting into fights or getting angry and punching. In Jr. High school he always had a gathering around him and was proud of his courage to take on anyone and fight. He also flipped people off out the bus window to and from school. He would show us the middle finger and describe the anatomical parts each bump represented. When you are young oftentimes the only things you have to keep you entertained are your fingers. I remember how obsessed I was in Jr High with what it meant and only trying it a few times in private. But whenever there was time to kill and signs to make with one's hands it would creep into my mind and I would try to oust it.
I had a cousin a year older than I was named Victor Tapp. He was my idol. He even played guard on Hillcrest High Schools basketball team and he might have even been the play maker. How I idolized him. But he dared to flip the peace sign and I figured if it was bad to flip the bird we shouldn't flip the peace sign either. So I never dared to use it.
I did psychotherapy from 2000-04. One of the things I had to learn was to candidly look inside and try to figure out what I was feeling. It was so hard.
When I taught my first 2 years at Niwot High School in Colorado I was nicknamed, Mr. Rogers. I had a button up gray sweater from Guatemala that I used as a missionary. I also had a hard time figuring out what to say next as a teacher. I wondered if it was my Spanish tripping up my tongue and brain. That was when I was trained to shrink inside when I heard, Mr. Rogers.
After teaching at Dixie Middle School for my next two years I got a new nick name: Bobby Devo. It was the name of a new alternative rock group and so the shrinking I had learned in Colorado was kept alive in Saint George. At least DJHS students did not know about Mr. Rogers!
Jr High kids love to experiment with words. Homo and gay were popular for much of my teaching career. In Guatemala I learned the word for gay from the few wealthy teens that could drive when they yelled at us as they drove by in Quezaltenango, my first area for 4 months.
One day as I was walking home from Desert Hills Intermediate school in about 2001, after my first year of therapy, I heard some boys, elementary age, jumping on a tramp in their back yard and yelling, "Hey, you're gay!" over and over again. I thought, that is sad. And I wondered who they were yelling at. As I got closer I saw their heads bobbing above the fence and them yelling it at me. I was surprised and displeased. I looked inside, noticed what I was feeling and decided I would vent it. I flipped them off as I walked by and since I was on the golf course and alone I held it there as I passed. The yelling ended. Then I heard a little voice say, "Hey, why are you flipping us off?" I did not explain. I did confess this to my therapist the next week and awaited the verdict. I always expected a verdict but that is not what therapists do. He simply said, you weren't going to be taken advantage of where you. I felt relief. That was exactly why I had flipped them off. (I won't detail the rest of that visit.)
Optional paragraph:
Walt Jones and his wife have taught in WCSD for 25 years. He in Jr. High shop and she in kindergarten. I told them a story about a secretary turned Jr. High teacher, turned back to secretary again. They were waiting for a stake temple recommend interview and I had just finished mine. Walt just ate the story up and he was with me all the way. I asked Mrs. Jones if it was that way for her and if she could relate. She said no. In fact when Walt went in to substitute for her one day and all the little kids came up and hugged his legs, he asked them, Is this allowed in school? They just said they loved Mrs. Jones and they also loved Mr. Jones. So Mrs. Jones said, I don't relate because I don't teach the kids that you guys do. And then she leaned forward and covered the side of her mouth and whispered, "the criminals". Yep that's what shop teachers have to deal with. : ) [And the rest of us that teach that age too.]vj
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OK
feeling creative
or courageous yet?
Can you remember that far back?
If so share, I would love to hear.
Your strange request maker,
Vern
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Jun 11
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I learned about it in elementary school. I was neither shocked or upset, as most kids I knew did it as a tease and I didn’t actually know the full meaning of it. So for the most I just laughed as I thought it was meant to be funny. It was in junior high when the seriousness of it was realized. However my good friends and I continued to tease each other when doing it and my really good friends still share that laugh with me. So for the most part I find it to be funny as it has to do with intention. If it is intended to be mean then it definitely doesn’t bode well, and the truth be known it is being used as a vulgar sign to encourage anger and possibly rage. So I think intention is the key factor in how I view it as I so often laugh when my friends send me the naughty gesture.
Here is what I’ve heard about the origin of the “Finger”… It is a result of the Hundred Years War between England and France from 1337-1453 (yes the Hundred Years War lasted 116 years). The English longbow was so feared by the French that anytime they captured an English bowman they would cut his middle finger off so they would be unable to use a bow ever again. After a battle the English would hold up their middle finger to show the French they would be able to continue fighting which was a sort of medieval F you..
To me I can find it to be funny and make me laugh and also it can be rude and make me feel bad/sad/mad, just depends on the delivery of the sender.
-coy
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