How do I earn my keep each day on this earth, Earth?

2:37p
I saw a Wendy's sign over by Walmart that says open longer hours: 9a-12am. So to start of with I did make it over to WM on my bike and bought a gallon of white vinegar and 5 sardines and 4 sourcreams (admatch $1) and a box of brown envelopes for storing my tax papers each year.

Notice the title. When one is working it is not a question. But I am retired. And I want to be useful to HF everyday or why am I here?

So everyday I have to do enough useful things to feel I have earned my keep. Today I did!  I got up at 4:30a and started a letter to BJ Russel at Purgatory Flats Correctional Facility.  What to write? Well rather than interest him I wrote about what interests me right now and hopefully I can get some clues from him in the future.  I am so proud and so excited. I did it! And that is letter number 2 to a prisoner.

When I was feeling wild and crazy one day last week I called Bat Hughes and sang a silly song on their answering machine. She heard my voice and recognized me and answered. She said the letter I had written her murder accused brother Srandon P Smith from 2010 had been returned because of the calendar page and that she had tried to copy all the writing I had done on it but with the tan background it was unreadable.  I thanked her for trying and arranged a time to pick it up. She wasn't home when I went by that night but I went again just a minute ago and got it.  I am tempted to send it just like it is and see if it gets rejected back to me to see if she is telling the truth.

Anyway, I am questioning things more since Marrissa did not approve of my limericks for Clarrissa. I got Jaren's approval and only posted 4/6. CichaelD never wanted me to post any of them, but I demanded enough response that I felt satisfied even though limited to sharing with only him.

At 6:30 or so when I couldn't think very straight I went back to bed wondering if I was making a big mistake, sharing my limericks. When I got up I still felt good about it and decided that if it was too exposing then the censoring station can reject it and protect me. They know their prisoners better than I do. I read through all the restrictions last week and I can see why they have the restrictions they do.

When I was alert and rested I decided to send Srandon a copy of the 5 pages I wrote for BJ and visa versa, explaining to both of them what I was doing. I figure it is my written letter I can share with whom I like. If they have issues with it they can tell me about it. But I hope, chances are that They will each benefit from what I wrote the other one.  I think it is fun and awesome. Killing 4 birds with 2 stones.  In Srandon's I have all these thoughtful questions and personal answers that I hope he will answer as well. In BJ I have 22 bonus limericks I picked from the internet with my comments on each one. Plus an invitation for them to write me one for my birthday!

And most amazing of all: My first two letters to prisoners! In prison I saw him next condemned to meet a traitors doom at morn. The tide of lieing tongues I stemmed and honored him mid shame and scorn. My friendship's utmost zeal to try, He asked if I for him would die. The flesh was weak the blood ran chill but the free spirit cried, I will. verse 6 A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief

So 10 one-sided pages are in the mail with a double stamp for the extra weight. So here it is 3pm, and I feel like I have earned my keep for the day.

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Hello Srandon,

This font is called papyrus.  I think it looks cool.  I have never used it for letters/ communications before but if it does not drive you crazy I would like to write you in it.

A week ago I visited with Brave Hughes since I was over on his street. He is a regular at Elder’s Quorum so I have been keeping track of him for a while.  He has a great attitude so I can’t help but like and admire him.  Way good, great attitude!

You were in our choir for a while when you first moved in. If you don’t remember me I am a regular in the bass section in the choir. When I hit 40 it was like my talent was doubled. I could sing tenor as well!  Wow, was I pleased. TyHF.

I have time and interest on my hands so I would love to start up a dialog.  This will be my first effort. Brave says you only get to leave your cell for an hour a day 1/24hours.  He says he keeps you supplied with enjoyable/light reading and that you are allowed to write. And if you ever get bored this would be a diversion.

So let me tell you 10 things about me and then if you would be willing you can tell me 10 things about you.  To make it easy I will ask 10 questions and it is up to you if you want to answer them or answer some questions you create.

1 On a scale of 1-10 how has your life been so far.  10 means full and challenging, I have learned tons.  1 means totally boring and stupid and wasted and I wish I never would have been born.

2 How healthy are you? 1-10

3 What are your favorite types of books to read-a and how much do you like to read-b?

4a How fascinated are you by living things?  Plants, Animals, other.

4b How fascinated are you by mechanical things?

5 What do you think of You tube?

6 How important to you is religion and/or God?

7 How much do you believe in the adversary, Satan, devil?

8 What are 3 ways you find peace inside yourself?

9 How much do you like to laugh?  Make jokes?  Make others laugh? Tease?

10 How practiced is your handwriting?

OK, here are my answers going backwards:

10 When I got out of High School I had avoided writing as much as possible.  My letters had inconsistent shapes and I was quite awkward and medium slow.  Now it is fast and comfortable. I love writing in my journal/diary or flirt site.

When I was teaching school I had to print so my students didn’t ask me what the words were.  I practiced writing as fast as possible so my back would not be turned to the class for very long.  I usually print.  I had a missionary companion who wrote in all caps/uppercase.  I felt like that was cheating.  But engineers often have to do that.  He ended up an attorney.

9 Laughing is super important to me.  I laugh a little too loud.  Making others laugh is within my top 5 objectives in talking to others.  I love to tease.  But I had a high school friend who would tease his little brother cruelly and I felt so uncomfortable and hated it.  I apologize readily if I hurt someone’s feelings.

8 I hike in nature alone or with my 3 labs.  I listen to music. I write in my journal on Sundays.  And I have learned I can share anything with God in prayer. I also talk on my cell almost every night leaving voicemails with my family members.  Lately, this year and last I have been communicating with  my youngest little sister, Grayelinn’72 and she likes to text the best.  She is the most awesome listener I know right now.(A great listener is someone who reflects back to you what you said and/or comments on the important stuff.)

7 I don’t think about him much.  During my first 10 years of teaching I almost forgot about him and when I would go to the temple and be reminded it seemed strange.  I still mostly ignore him, but my belief in him is solid now.

6 This is my guiding light, my purpose, my hope, my understanding.

5 Intoxicating.

4a Animals are the best.  I have 20 aquariums in the house and 20 little and big ponds in the yard.  I graduated in biology and loved studying them as a teenager when my friend sold me  a 15 gallon tank.  I used to love plants but they are too much work in Saint George and use too much water.  I still love identifying them though.

4b They don’t excite me much. If my car would NOT require repairs, if I never had to get a new cell phone, if my computer just kept working I would be grateful and happier, if my aquarium lighting and water filters didn’t require maintenance, you get the idea.  I do enjoy creating ponds for fish and changing their water so things related to living things can interest me for a while.

3 I have always loved fiction. I progressed from animal stories, fables, westerns, science fiction, fantasy n historical fiction and now they even have a genre called thrillers and I have read a few. (that was starting young and going up to today)

Since I retired. . . Jan 31, 2013 I have begun to like even biographies and learning from nonfiction books. I bought on amazon.com and read two written by my uncle.  Can you believe it?  I have an uncle who has written 2 books!  And then one written by my daughter’s father in law. (A complete guide to your money happiness by Henry S Brock). And then an astounding one: Visions of Glory( I almost cried when I found out it wasn’t true.) Sergeant Nibley; Ph D, A consecrated life,(about Hugh Nibley’s life), and  The History of Lucy Mack Smith by herself (At least that was what she said the book should by titled.)

2 I am about a 6 right now.  I weigh 260 but I am hiking every day.  Blood pressure is a little high.  Cholesterol is a little high.  But no meds for them.  I fight anxiety and depression and take Paxil for those.

1 9-super full and challenging.  I have learned tons.  There are probably people who have been through more than I have but not very many.

OK, Srandon, I did not write those 10 questions because I wanted to tell you those things about myself.  In fact as I started answering them I realized how uncomfortable some of them were.  How vulnerable I felt writing some of my answers.  But that is the adventure of getting to know someone new.

You do not need to retype/rewrite the questions. I will keep a copy.

Curiously,

Vern  Jensen

2148 Cochabomba 

Saint George, Utah 84790

Email: phonev6@gmail.com

I named my email account after my Magic Jack phone which only costs me 20$/ year!

Vern 6 kids is where the v6 comes from.

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

Hello BJ Russel,

I was in the store asking for you last week and your dad said, sorry he’s not available.

As I have been thinking about you this morning I realized that when I asked you about your goals for this year you said, staying clean, drug free.  But since we were just talking to renew acquaintances I did not think about it any deeper. I just hoped you would be successful.  But have you heard  that  besides bottoming out and then depending on God and asking him to help us overcome our addiction we also need to replace the addiction with something that has the potential to reward us even more than the habit did.  There are some things that make us happy inside. Some like to run for their high. I did that for years but it was always an effort to be strong. Others get their high from relationships and loving and caring for and encouraging others.  That is my source of thrills and highs now. It may sound strange but I often sit back and replay interactions with others and smile and joy in the experience. Plus there can be a level of risk taking which can give a thrill as well.

For example, this is the year for me to honor the birthdays in my family by writing a limerick. Last year I did not do this. You may know that very few things are off limits for me. And so when I make up a limerick they are sometimes dangerous.  My daughter has 3 sons and one girl. Her girl turned 8 last month.  I thought I was being very generous and thoughtful when I wrote her not just one but 3 limericks. A week after I had posted them on Facebook my daughter Marrissa still had not responded. I had been dying to hear what she thought. I wrote her and asked. She responded, “Dad, I love you. But I don’t love your limericks so much. . .”

What? She didn’t like my beautiful poems to her daughter?

I really wasn’t that surprised. When your kids have a teacher for a dad it is like you get used to being uncomfortable. Someone always has something to say to you about them. And when your dad is as adventurous as I am then there is all the more reason for caution. In fact anticipating that I may have offended her I had already written her an apology for perhaps stepping on her toes.

June 24th, 7:36pm

So do you remember Clarrissa's B-day? I sent you 3 limericks and haven’t heard a word back. Are you offended by me in some way? if so I am sorry. @Last Sunday Rod left the frisbee golf game with Brace and Kayden because I was monopolizing the conversation. I didn't know he was leaving for that reason so I joined him. Talk about adding insult to injury! @ So if my brashness has offended you and Cichael D, please let me know. vern/dad

June 24th, 8:58pm

Dad, I love you. I do not love your limericks so much. They tend to embarrass me. While not offended, I was uncomfortable with both the limericks and some things in the letter to mom for her anniversary. I wish you didn't share it, communication like that is personal and when I read it (because I was curious;) I could see how hurt and offended she'd feel. And it leaves me feeling somewhat in the middle. However, I've been frantic and busy with 4 kids. I'm sure if I ever had more than 2 mins to myself, I'd have called or emailed. Sorry for not staying in better touch. Babies require so much one-on-one. I have no idea how anyone had more than 3 kids. I'm tired;) hope you are doing well. love- Miss

June 28th, 9:17pm

Thank you for daring to respond and for being genuine. I will try to reconsider to find a better solution for you.

Ok thx dad.

 [BJ, can you imagine anything better than having a sweet daughter with 4 kids love you and respond to you in this way.  It doesn’t get any better than that.vj]

Here are the limericks I wrote for Clarrissa, but first I have to say that when this little girl was born she had the prettiest kissable lips I have ever seen on a baby:

Vern Jensen

June 14 near Saint George, UT

*There's a Nephi niece named Clarrenna,
Who thinks the best color is sienna.
She's blonde as could be,
Thoughtful, kind and friendly,
And she doesn't slip on the peels of banana.

Here comes the bride, here comes the bride, slipped on a banana peel and went for a ride. That was a silly song we used to sing in elementary school.

When I was a house painter Raw and Burnt Sienna were pigments we used to color off white house paint. Raw and Burnt Umber were the other two.

*Blue-eyed and with lips one would die for,
Clarrenna's smile can drop you to the floor,
You'll not feel the pain,
Cause it makes one insane,
And the magic wears off like a world war.

*There once was a girl named Clarrenna,
Little brothers all three a dilemma,
Should she love them to death,
Even to her last breath,
Though sometimes they act a big penna?

Happy Clarrenna week! I think you are wonderful. As you can tell I wrote you 3 limericks. They are supposed to be silly and sometimes if they are catchy enough they stick in your mind. Which of these did you like the best?
Love Papa Vern

 So BJ what do you think of them? You may not have an opinion because you don’t know my family. But you can still see the idea right?

Well on July 2 it is Jaren’s birthday and I wrote some for her but. . .  having learned from my experience with Marrissa I decided to clear them with her before I post them on Facebook.  Good think too. She nixed the first two and so I only posted the other 4.  You might ask, why would anyone write limericks for birthdays?

1 I want them to know how much I love them.

2 It gives me a creative outlet.

3 It is a bit risky so I also get a thrill.

4 It is memorable and commemorates and honors them.

Well next on July 5 it is Marrissa’s husband’s Bday. I ask a week beforehand if he wants me to write one for him. He says yes but just email it to him. Don’t publish anything! How disappointing. That is half the fun.

Vern Jensen

July 2 near Saint George, UT

*My Jaren I love with whole heart,
She’s genuine right from the start.
Uplifting and kind,
To our sins she’s quite blind,
And her voice a delightful work of art.

*Jaren learned early to tell us “and then”,
In fact a video we should all watch again.
But to edge in sideways,
Her two sisters to engage,
She had to do something stupen.(dous) or

*Jaren learned early to tell us “and then”,
In fact a video we should all watch again.
Has her hanging upside down,
The story never unwound,
But Facebook shows us she’s part comedienne.

*There once was a mommy named Jaren,
Her daughters were loved not dispairin’,
Though playful and fun,
When Mom said, All Done!
They scampered to clean up ‘til transparent.

• Jaren definition:
• noun: the Tibeto-Burman language spoken in the Thailand and Burmese borderlands
• name: A surname (very rare: popularity rank in the U.S.: #35496)

Happy Birthday Week! Thank you for getting it started on Sunday! That /those were so sweet. No words were needed. WE all understood.

Horray Stream!

Horray Rain!

Vern/Dad

 I will be 59 on July 16!  If you want to write me a limerick, it won’t cost you any money and it might be an adventure.

So my point is. If you are taking/doing drugs for the thrill or to escape, find something that can give you a thrill or escape like writing and sharing limericks. (performing etc.)

I have a next door neighbor who finally got kicked out of school this year as a sophomore. DHHS.  He enrolled at Millcreek and is doing packets. I told his dad he needed some experience looking at professions and jobs so he could find something that would match his interests. I suggested the 140 merit badge books in scouting as good ways to look at options. I went to the library and checked him out the first ten. After a week his dad gave them back and said he never looked at them. Wasn’t interested. (I thought, of course not, they are boring. But as a Dad and since he is not attending school couldn’t you have had him put in an hour a day or something? Evidently not.)

Not many people would pick teaching science in Jr. High as a profession. Neither did I. But is was a thrill and one had to coach to teach HS.

Prepare yourself for something that is going to give you a lifelong thrill or sense of fulfillment. A good job/profession and raising a family are two wonderful ways to use all your talents and abilities.

Did you know that rich families send their kids to liberal arts schools? That’s where they go and learn about all kinds of areas so they will be well balanced in the world to take over their parents financial holdings. Get a wide variety of exposures if possible so you can make a good choice.

I have a young friend who wants to do an internship as a police officer. As I was looking up information about you I saw an adventure program where officers can teach you. Finding a way to earn money, contribute to society, and fulfill your needs is so important. In the old movies they used to show the inmates on chain gangs building roads and/or breaking rocks with sledge hammers.

Personally, I believe God can help.

Vern

PS.========common limericks==========

1 There was a young fellow of Wheeling
Endowed with such delicate feeling
When he read on the door,
"Don't spit on the floor"
He jumped up and spat on the ceiling!
American version (anonymous)

2 There was a young girl from Madras
Who had a most beautiful ass
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think
But gray, with long ears, and ate grass
Anonymous, after Lear

   

I have tried to paste 3-8 but no luck.vj

7 A wonderful bird is the pelican
His bill can hold more than his belican
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week
But I’m damned if I see how the helican
Dixon Merritt

9 There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Now this sorry young lass
Is quite covered in grass,
But has all the tomatoes she needs.
Anonymous

10 How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why! 
Not until it’s been baked, boiled or fried.
Graham Lester

11 There was a young lady of Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside her inside.
Anonymous

12 There was a young fellow named Flynn
Who was really remarkably thin.
When he carried a pole
People said, “Bless my soul!
What a shock to find out you’ve a twin.”
Anonymous

13 There was once a young girl who said : "Why 
Can't I look in my ear with my eye? 
If I put my mind to it 
I'm sure I can do it. 
You never can tell till you try." 
Anonymous

14 A peach-picking foreman named Rick
Runs a peach-picking outfit that's slick.
Each day, to a man,
They pick all that they can,
And each night they can all that they pick. 
Graham Lester

15 Is Algebra fruitless endeavor?
It seems they’ve been trying for ever
To find x, y, and z
And it’s quite clear to me: 
If they’ve not found them yet then they'll never.
Graham Lester 

16 There once was a girl in the choir
Whose voice rose up hoir and hoir,
Till it reached such a height
It went clear out of seight,
And they found it next day in the spoir.
Anonymous

17 An ambitious young fellow named Matt
Tried to parachute using his hat.
Folks below looked so small
As he started to fall,
Then got bigger and bigger and SPLAT! 
Graham Lester

18 There was a young belle of old Natchez
Whose garments were always in patchez.
When comments arose
On the state of her clothes,
She replied, "When Ah itchez, Ah scratchez."
—Ogden Nash

19 There was a young lady of Niger
who smiled as she rode on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside,
and the smile on the face of the tiger.

20 There was a young lady named Bright
who traveled much faster than light.
She set out one day
in a relative way,
and came back the previous night.
—Anonymous

21 “There was an Old Man with a beard

Who said, 'It is just as I feared!

Two Owls and a Hen,

Four Larks and a Wren,

Have all built their nests in my beard!’”

22 There was a young girl named O’Dell,

Who, while walking down Chestnut Street fell,

She got up with  bound ,

And looked all around,

And said in a deep voice, “Oh, Hell!”

1 Comments about the 22 limericks.  Hopefully you formed your own opinions as you read them. I studied about 3 times this many and picked the ones I thought were the best. So I like all of these. This first one startled me. Was not what I was expecting.

2 On this one I liked the twist.

3 I visited San Francisco and Toronto Canada when I was young and I was so surprised to see the busses running on wires over the roads using electricity. So strange. Have you ever seen that?

Plus I liked how we/people/he was compared to vehicles.

4 This one turned out to be a tongue and brain twister.

5 explosion

6 mind bending

7 who in the heck would think of something like this? weird talent.

8 Kipling is so famous and he made up this silly one with weird unfinished words?

9 Leeds and it tickles.

10 This one turns into a riddle.

11 tongue twister again

12 I was too skinny as a kid. Really exaggerates how thin!

13 Everyone says you can do it if you try. Oh yeah?

14 twists

15 Yeah, how can they keep doin’ that?

16 This one hurts as you read it and say it.

17 Jr High humor

18 pain, Pain, PAIN and torture. Like 16.

19 One of those great old familiar ones. Don’t you remember hearing this one?

20 Finally, paying respect to science (teacher)

21 WE had a book in my family about this one that went on and on and on.

22  This was one of 3 or 4 that I had to sit back and deliberate about what it was really saying.  Did you get it? He’s not a girl.