Sunday,
8/2/15, 3:39pm Hello Brandon L Tom Perry Joseph Smith, I like you.
You are so wonderful, you have so much potential. But you may need a
little healing before that potential can express itself fully. I took
my distant friend David Morgan to Yankee Meadows Reservoir from
7:30am Friday until 10:30 pm Friday night. 15 solid hours together!
He needs emotional, psychological help. And the weirdest thing. . .
near the end of the day he started railing on therapists. D- My
sister says that only 20% of the therapists are any good. And only
20% of the patients improve. So Dave and I agreed that that means the
odds are only 4% for benefiting from psychotherapy. Lynn Clark is a
famous photographer here in Saint George. She lives on flood street
and her house is stuffed with assorted junk of many kinds. Now to her
it probably is not junk. But to me it seemed so extremely cluttered!
She is also a part time therapist. And her office is right next to
Mark Clayton. DaveM's wives have dragged him to therapy before each
of his divorces. And they look at
him face to face and tell lies about him so the therapist will be
convinced he is incurable/ afflicted and agree it is best to divorce.
His first divorce took him 6 years to get over. This last separation/
divorce has taken him 6 years to get over as well. He is often
depressed and feels lost and last year started indexing obituaries
every afternoon to find/ found himself. Found as in foundation/
steady/ anchor. He
did 8-9 visits with Lynn Clark and set up for a visit with his son
with Mark Clayton. People have told him that Mark Clayton is really
good. Does he sound familiar Brandon? Yes, he is my
therapist,'99-'04! Last Monday I recommended him to Emily Cohen and
on Friday evening I told Dave that he was like the 4th
member of the Godhead for me. Dave can't figure out what good,
therapists can do? All they
do is talk and take your money! He spilled his guts and told MarkC
his life story at his first visit. He asked MarkC if he thought M
could help him? M said, yes there were some areas of his life he
could help him with. David is sick of getting hooked up to flubbed up
women. He is ready to go for a righteous woman of any faith because
the Mormon women he has married are so messed up by religion that he
has no confidence in necessarily marrying one again. D is 65 and I am
60 and Jason Chappell is 45 and Dave Black is 55. [JasonC will be
teaching EQ next Sunday. I called him and updated him on everything
he missed at church last week. Vmail. Today I asked where he had been
and it was home sick in bed. Never been married. Hasn't been back to
the temple since his mission to the Netherlands.] So when I told
DaveM that my therapist was awesome, he was astonished it was this
Mark Clayton he had met with once and with
whom he had just shared
his life story. DaveM knew his son wouldn't show even when they made
the appointment together.
Both DaveM and his son were arrested for fighting 3 months ago. DaveM
paid his own bail and was able to get out of jail the same day but
not his son. @ Here is a shocker. I was amazed at this one. Dave has
a daughter living in Washington who is a druggy. She lives in a dump
without air. Her brain is burned out and she can only think on the
surface like Karli in our BoM class. Dave says she is even worse than
Karli and so is his other
daughter.
He is so discouraged about his addict children. Anyway,
there is a service station on the boulevard that allows them to go
out back of the station and take all the ice they want/ need.
His kids took his white Jimmy, filled the back with coolers last
Sunday and filled them all with ice from this gas station. They make
ice blankets and lay under them to keep cool. Have you ever heard of
such a thing? @ So Dave says after his 9 visits with Lynn Clark there
wasn't anything he came out of there with that he could understand.
If a therapist could send him away with something he could understand
he would feel alright about his visits. I explained to him that I
couldn't accept any feelings before therapy. I was a shell. I was
protective and on guard and needing to perform and be righteous. He
responded, “I don't understand a thing you just said.” I later
tried to explain to him how I go into flashbacks and something called
disociation. Disociation is where you completely stop feeling
anything except threatened and you seem to back out of your body and
control it by remote, like a puppet or a robot. And I just go through
the motions and perform all my duties as if I were just fine and
finally after days or weeks it starts feeling safe again and I return
into myself and can start being free and spontaneous and creative and
have fun again. I had never heard of such a thing, or applied it to
myself until I had been in therapy for a while and identified what I
was feeling and what had happened. So if I had a protective shell
around me do you think I was sensitive to the spirit? And yet that is
what we seek more than anything else as saints. @ Last year I bore a
testimony of never having been able to feel the spirit. Do you think
that went against the grain? Yikes, YIKES, whoever in the world would
dare to say anything like that in sacrament meeting. We pray for it
all the time. You probably will never hear an opening prayer for a
meeting when the spokesman doesn't say, Please bless us with thy
Spirit. That testimony was so unique that a new ward member, father
saw me at the PO a month later and stopped and asked me about it. Rob
and Kindra Celani have a son Dante'97
who is autistic but functional but he never feels things either. RobC
explained to me that they are trying to prepare him for going on a
mission and my testimony gave him hope. I did serve an honorable
mission. And Rob wanted to know how that was possible without feeling
the spirit. I told him that I just tried to do everything I was
supposed to do. Near the end of my mission I had a companion Zone
Leader named Randy Hansen. He dressed impeccably and was taller than
my 5'11”. Sometimes we would come to a street corner and he would
say, “Which way should we turn Elder?” V- I'm not sure. I don't
feel anything. . . So was I embarrassed? You better believe it! Are
you trying to tell me that there are missionaries that can tell which
way they are supposed to turn? And here I was a Zone leader and I
couldn't feel anything? Yep. @ Strange thing, my next calling was to
serve in the most prestigious place in the mission. I served my last
6 months as one of only 2 assistants to the president! Hot dang, does
that make any sense? It sure didn't to me!!! Was I humbled and
shocked? You better believe it! Did I have problems with my new
companion, Elder Hafen who was also an assistant to the president?
You better believe it! Why? How? You would think that two assistants
to the president would be able to get along just fine wouldn't you?
Especially when both of them are sincere and seeking the Lord's will?
Nope. It doesn't work that way! I couldn't believe he would tackle
and wrestle the other office elders to the ground to burn off some
steam. That wasn't me, and I couldn't believe apostles and assistants
would behave that way. He got angry with me. And there I was the “new
inexperienced guy” on the block, in the highest position in the
mission field and I was being rebuked by my companion. He said I
thought I was above everyone else. I thought I was better than they
were. @ Nothing could be further from the truth. I was so intimidated
and humble and meek and teachable, I felt I couldn't have grovelled
any lower. A little bit of good news. They let Elder Grizzle stay in
the mission home a week to train me and he and I got along fantastic.
So when Elder Grizzle left and I had Elder Hafen, that is when I got
the grilling. What did I do? I was devastated. Here I was a lonely
little new senior companion from the back country of Guatemala where
I worked with the Indians and only had 3 Junior companions in my one
area for 5 months in Coban, and I was supposed to be an assistant?
And my companion was telling me I was the scum of the earth and had
my nose stuck in the air! Oh My Goodness! Where could I go? What
could I do? WAS this a problem I should take to the mission president
I was supposed to be trying to help, as his assistant! My goodness,
how does revelation work anyway? Why was I called to this position? I
knew I wasn't worthy. I knew I was afflicted with sin and addiction.
What in the world could I do? What would you do Brandon? @
Back in March I decided to read the last quarter of my missionary
journal for the 1st
time that I can remember. It is only a quarter because I started
typing when I was made an assistant and it doesn't take up as much
room. Plus, I was so busy I often didn't fit journaling into my day,
so I was left summarizing at the end of a week or two. Since I have
never been big on revelation, nor feeling the guidance of the spirit
and I was trying to write 10 pages of my personal history as part of
a race with Sister Hawaii at the FHC, I decided to look in my
missionary journal to find where Elder Gibson, my zone leader when I
was in Coban, had told me of his dream of me becoming the next Zone
leader. I might not receive revelation but those in charge of me
often did. That was a special occasion in my life and I wanted to
read it again and see if it was true. Sure enough it was there. Now
it was not there with as much detail as I would have liked but it was
there. I recorded in my journal before ever becoming a zone leader
that once when the zone leaders came to “work zone” [split up
with my companion and I] I was told by E. Gibson that in a dream he
had he saw me called to be the next zone leader. As you can imagine
Brandon, I have often asked myself why? Why did E. Gibson have that
dream? And why was HF choosing me? @ I was diligent. I was committed.
I obeyed the rules. I worked hard. I was sincere. I had a testimony
of the truthfulness of the BoM and the Church. I repented
periodically of my sins. I wrote home every week as was ruled and I
wrote the mission president sincere, informing letters every week as
was ruled. I had a branch president who loved the gospel as much as I
did. President Jacobs, who had taught at Rick's college and may have
told the mission president how wonderful he thought I was. [We
had whole wheat breakfast with him at his house on Prep day mornings
and we discussed scriptures and the branch.] I do have a strong voice
and I try to be considerate, and friendly and loving and kind to
others. Heaven knows I valued it because I was not brought up that
way. You, Brandon have been reading my letters for a year now and may
have some insights as to why that I can't see, but nevertheless I had
been called. OK, you had long enough to figure out what you would
have done. (
I knew I was afflicted with sin and addiction. What in the world
could I do? What would you do Brandon? )
To tell you the truth I didn't remember any of my companion conflicts
until I read my missionary journal. Shocker, was I surprised. But
this particular one amazed me. There I was railed on/ rebuked/ called
to repentance by the experienced assistant to the president, my new
companion and there I was devastated and angry, ANGRY AND PRESSURING
ready to explode and I told him I didn't know what he was talking
about and then I went and prayed. I prayed Brandon. And then what? I
needed help. I was lost, insecure, alone and in trouble. I prayed and
realized we are to accept our weaknesses. I went back to Elder Hafen,
feeling wronged and unfairly treated, and apologized and repented and
asked him to forgive me and that I would try to do better. @ Woah,
what a man! Did I really do that? That is what my journal records and
why write lies? Not me. Waste of time. It looks like I knew how to
turn to the Lord even when I didn't know how to feel and get
inspiration and revelation. This makes me grateful and tearful. @ I
am so proud and grateful of that young Vern there and then who bit
the bullet, sucked it up, and prayed and offered to change and
apologized. @ Now if you are like me, you are always seeking
confirmation of your value and worth. I love to be complimented. I
love to be
thanked. I love sincere flattery if there is such a thing. Was I
looking for and hoping for my mission president's approval and
approbation? Of course. He was the biggest hero in my life up to that
point. I was flattered out of my socks to be chosen as his assistant.
@ We knelt in prayer in the mission president's living room everyday
before breakfast. That first week while I had the old assistant
there, E. Grizzle, I was asked to give the blessing on the food.
There was an Ensign article that had just come out about expressing
gratitude for all the variety in our lives. The colors, flavors,
smells, textures, of our world and food and on and on. I had been
called on to pray and I gave it my best! After I was done E. Grizzle
said, you can tell which Ensign article E. Jensen has read recently.
I liked him saying that. That was the reassurance / acceptance I
needed. But, it was not what the President wanted to hear! He did not
call on me to pray for breakfast again for weeks! And as each week
would go by and I wasn't called on to pray I would ask myself, did I
do something wrong? Sure enough, I had. You can pray like that all
you want in private, and although he never said anything, I got the
message eventually. No sense in praying that way in public!! Who
knows, maybe that was one of the reasons why E. Hafen thought I was
such a jerk! @ But luckily HF knew my heart and I was really, really
outclassed and I just wanted to try my best and do my best. @ Did any
of this come back to bless my life as a spouse and parent? I believe
so. DavidM says that the scriptures are his reference point. I told
him ME TOO! I have needed them desperately my whole adult life! What
is right? What is wrong? Is there an example I should follow? What
does this teaching mean? Brandon, do you remember when I told you I
offended my whole BoM class by expressing relief when I found the
counsel to notify those not worthy to take the sacrament was to
bishop's? So many people were in upheaval over that! They couldn't
believe that it was something I had always tried to figure out how to
do. Big
Period. @ well there is another scripture which I am still trying to
make sense of. If ye are not one ye are not mine. @ Woah, try that
one on for size!!!! @ Something I also discovered as I read my last
half of my missionary journal, (After I finished the last quarter I
went back and read the 3rd
quarter as well.) I discovered there were times when I was so filled
with the spirit, SPIRIT that I testified with love and abandon. We
did a BoM project mission wide my last Christmas which just filled me
with the spirit. I cried though one fast meeting testimony witnessing
of the Book of Mormon that December, and
it was so strong
that it
left everyone else in tears as they bore their testimony that day as
well. Pres. Jacob used to play the electric piano for us in our
sacrament meetings in Coban, and I read in
my journal
that I lead all the music! Shadow of things to come. That's my
calling in the ward now. So on that fast day, I was probably the
first after him to bear my testimony. And it helped set the tone for
the meeting I would suppose. Nevertheless, I was so pleased to read
that I had felt the spirit so strongly. So watch out for December
fast meetings! @ WE have Kim Garrett as our new counselor in the
bishopric. The bishop was gone today so Kim got to conduct Fast and
Testimony meeting and start by bearing his testimony. Brother Josh
Borgeson
jumped up after KimG and bore his testimony about the joy of
baptizing his first born son yesterday. He said he needed to go to
work and left. I followed him today. It was kimG's first conducting
of a sacrament meeting and he confessed he can't keep things straight
in his brain so to keep us from being confused he would be short.
When he gave his 'acceptance speech' last month he said it had been
since Hawaii, 30 years ago, since he had borne his testimony. I kept
notes on all of us that bore our testimonies today. I jumped up right
after JoshB because I knew I wanted to support Kim in his new calling
and I didn't want to wait. By getting my testimony over I can enjoy
the rest of the meeting. P r e s s u r e off. @
Picking up the story thread, My mission president did not give
abundant approbation. His poor wife had a nervous breakdown and had
to return home to recuperate before returning to Guatemala to be with
him. They had a young family and a young blonde girl with
spinabifida. E. Grizzle told me the mission president and his family
were an important part of my calling as assistant. I wasn't sure what
that meant and spent some time playing catch with the kids before I
figured it out. @ Well July came and the new mission president
started. They serve for 3 years. The old mission President Arnold did
a little touring before flying home. We made a gigantic long sign
wishing him goodbye. In his last, my tearful handshake, with him he
said, Elder Jensen I have learned some good things from you. @
Finally, the approval I had been seeking for months. OurAssistants
to the president met with him regularly. They often help him prepare
the transfers and plan the new companionships. They pray with him
regularly for confirmation in those new assignments. They read all
the weekly letters to the president and underline and highlight
things they want him to see and make notes of problems. I kept track
of who hadn't been writing and sent them letters of encouragement,
yep sounds like me! 1st
assistant (me) was in charge of the districts and they write all the
form letters to arrange for district conferences over which the
mission president presides. When the district is ready to become a
stake, they get a stake president. The mission president has two
member counselors who also help him with the district conferences. @
My new mission president asked us to write the summary letter/ final
evaluation of each elder returning home to the first presidency
because he said he did not know the elders. He probably added a front
letter explaining that to them. @ There was an address from Pres
Odonnal in the Ensign in '86 when they dedicated the new Guatemala
temple. That was 10 years after I had returned home. He was credited
with having helped bring the missionaries to Guatemala. He had
married a Guatemalan and worked for a US rubber plantation down there
long before I ever arrived. Clay Gardner had his dad bear testimony
today and say that this week will mark Clay's first year of his
mission in Guatemala. He has been in the jungle, showering from a
bucket each day for the last 8 months and loves it.'Just like camping
out dad!' Tim Gardner, dad, has a new job at Desert Hills High School
this year and school starts in 11 days! I am so excited for him. I
never had to work in the jungle. @ OK, back to psychotherapy. DavidM
can't see the value in it. Man, I sure understand. My family sort of
spat out the nickname, shrinks. No way I was ever going to see one
either! Besides that who can afford $130 and hour? And it is really
only 45 minutes because they have to summarize your visit and then
get ready for the next client. Well, Brandon I have shared with you
before that I experienced something brand new in therapy than I had
ever experienced in my life before and it was like ambrosia. It is
called, unconditional regard. It was the richest most wonderful
feeling! I loved it so much I knew that I had missed my calling in
life. I wanted to quit and become a therapist so I could let people
feel this wonderful, brand new, all encompassing, acceptance. I did
meet some therapists before Mark. Bob Trip who was great, Phil
something over in Santa Clara who was rejected by BYU as an extreme
professor. But when my wife tried him and encouraged me so she could
be safe and be reassured I wasn't abusing the children at night when
she was asleep, like my parents did, I went and did my best. I tried
my hardest. At $100/hour I was darn sure I would be my most honest so
I could get the most help possible and end those 100$ bills as soon
as possible! Kathyx
and I decided to record all our sessions so we could listen over and
over and get the most value from them. Many of them Kathyx
transcribed of her own so she could read them too. Not me. Listening
was good enough. Although I filled notebooks with his teachings and
my processings! 7:06pm Closing for tonight. As you can tell I have
been is some very fertile soil this afternoon. ~~@~~4k
words!//Monday,9:37am
Good morning Brandon, welcome back! DavidM asked me how much a MarkC
visit would cost me. I told him $50. Insurance would cover the rest.
When I first started therapy in with him in '99 my bishop somehow
knew how hard a time I had spending money and how difficult the road
was going to be for me and he only asked me to pay $10. You can only
imagine my surprise and gratitude. And it was such a wonderful
experience for me, so enlivening, so terrifying, so frustrating, so
insightful and enlightening that I decided that besides wanting to
become a therapist I would also support the Fast Offerings in the
Church with as much as possible. For years I began paying $100/month.
And in my mind and heart I want to donate all my worldly wealth to
Fofferings when I die. It was like a new world a new dimension I had
no idea existed. A world of trust and acceptance of unconditional and
warmly expressed love from HF. So Strange. So New. So Family. Like
family I had never experienced. @ Since retirement with my income
drop I only pay $20/month. So I pay 200$/month all together. $180 for
tithing. @ The grapes are ripening in my garden. I have 8-30year old
grape vines that I don't know how to prune. I left the water running
on them Saturday and remembered this morning. OOPS. I was out there
at first light this morning. I have 5 buried bins in my garden where
I grew fish last year. They were only ¼ full so I refilled them this
morning. I was surprised to find a big live toad float up to the top
of one of them and crawl out. One of them has 50 little tadpoles
growing in it. I saw a 1 inch tree frog float to the top of a buried
trash can as I filled it too. It has recently changed from a tadpole.
My guppy bin had no algae growing in it so I added some from the next
bin. I filled up 10 buckets of water in the kitchen so I will be
ready for my next water change. 3 hours evaporates all the chlorine
so it is safe for the fish. @ When
KimG bore his testimony yesterday he confessed he was not a
communicator and that things just get all confused in his brain. He
promised to keep his testimony short for his and our benefit. : ) He
thanked his wife Andra, for encouraging him to smile and look happy
while on the stand. He said he has a naturally gruff persona from
work and managing his employees. First at Arby's, then Chili's and
now Frost Top, the oldest business in town. Andra works with him. She
worked other places but when they bought Frost top she joined him. In
my opinion she has always been tied for first place for the prettiest
woman in the ward. @ So last July month fast Sunday Kim was put in as
1st
counselor. I wrote him a funny and yet serious supportive letter/
note on the program. They were gone the next week and so on so I just
delivered it after Church yesterday on my bike. @ Here is an example
of our interactions. He was doing announcements in Priesthood. K-Now
that Vern is done writing the hymn on the board we can start.
Announcements continue. K- There will be no Stake Youth Mission
meeting tonight. We are no longer allowed to call it sym (sim). V-
You're kidding! We've been doing it for more than a year. K- You know
me Vern, I never kid. @ Did you notice I pipe in without notice/
permission? Since I lead the music and am always up front I can't
help but feel a part of things. And so far the ward and bishopric put
up with me. @ btw, when I first heard “sim” 2 years ago I was
startled. You may have heard of extensive complex computer simulation
games of apartment complexes and cities call “Sim”. And I am
dying of curiousity about who, WHO brought whatever to the President
Gil Almquist's attention to make him change it. He has had other
stakes come and observe to see how it runs. Every Sunday evening all
the youth in the stake are invited to go practice being missionaries
and being taught etc.. His goal since being put in is to prepare
missionaries better so fewer of them have to return home. What a
visionary stake president! @ So in conclusion, do you think that HF
guided me to spend a day with DavidM at Yankee Meadows Reservoir so I
could encourage him and defray his frustrations about
psychotherapists? I really sense D's frustration. Four marriages.
Children all hating him and not communicating. Depression over last
divorce. Distrust of society and therapists in particular. He was
born 7 years after his sister and was the final child in his family.
His dad was an alcoholic for his first 20 years of marriage and used
to explode and harm his wife and chidren. He had a stroke and quit
drinking and served for years as a High Counselor in his stake. He
was wealthy with 125 employees on his turkey farm in Layton and built
a huge lodge on Lyman lake in the back country of the Uintas and with
a 99 year renewable permit. he also sponsered/ built the 12-12 bunk cabins they
scattered through the forest as well. D spent 5+ years working on
them in
his late teens. They donated it to their stake and then the stake
split and split again and so it was donated to the Church as a Summer
Camp. D got regular migraines as a kid when there was yelling and
screaming and abuse in his household. Then he would throw up and the
migraine would go away. I so understand about migraines and extreme
sensitivities and allergies!
I have tried MSG, my worst culprit 2 times in the last month without
an allergic reaction! I used to get a migraine and even go blind! @
When I started psychotherapy I was told that sometimes it can take
your allergies away. I thought that would sure be nice. When I
finished therapy there had been no change. It wasn't until after
retirement Feb'13 that I started to try foods I had been allergic to
for 30 years and discovered bit by bit foods I could tolerate again!
I still wear a mask to mow the lawn but once again it is so weird to
eat things I never could. I still can't eat BBQ potato chips. If I
ate a bag of those I was sick for 3 weeks after wards back in '88 and
I would catch every cold and flu virus I came across. Teaching Jr.
High I came across them all! But I never stayed home. No matter how
sick, it was better to teach than try to regain control after a
substitute and have to follow up on all the misbehavior with
appropriate consequences! @ The two types of MSG, mono-sodium
glutamate, the flavor enhancer found in Accent spice and Ramen noodle
flavor packets, that I have eaten: Italian sausages and Bratwurst,
and imitation crab meat. @ I stopped eating at Golden Corral and
Chuckarama and all restaurants decades ago because of those miserable
food allergies/ intolerance. @
Not only do I think HF orchestrated that meeting but I think he
Orchestrated one with Bob Davis' girlfriend, Emily Cohen as well. She
is from Schenectady, NY where I lived when I was 14. So in honor of
those meetings here is the talk I would like to share with you
today:Blessings
of the Temple
@By
President Thomas S. Monson @My
beloved brothers and sisters, how grateful I am to be with you this
beautiful Easter morning when our thoughts turn to the Savior of the
world. I extend my love and greetings to each of you and pray that
our Heavenly Father will inspire my words. @This
conference marks seven years since I was sustained as President of
the Church. They have been busy years, filled not only with a few
challenges but also with countless blessings. Among the most
enjoyable and sacred of these blessings has been my opportunity to
dedicate and rededicate temples. @Most
recently, this past November it was my privilege to dedicate the
beautiful new Phoenix Arizona Temple. I was joined by President
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Elder Richard J. Maynes,
Elder Lynn G. Robbins, and Elder Kent F. Richards. On the evening
prior to the dedication, a marvelous cultural celebration was held
where over 4,000 of our youth from the temple district performed
beautifully. The following day the temple was dedicated in three
sacred and inspiring sessions. @The
building of temples is a very clear indication of the growth of the
Church. We currently have 144 temples in operation worldwide, with 5
being renovated and 13 more under construction. In addition, 13
temples which were previously announced are in various stages of
preparation before construction begins. This year we anticipate
rededicating 2 temples and dedicating 5 new temples which are
scheduled for completion. @For
the past two years, as we have concentrated our efforts on completing
previously announced temples, we have held in abeyance plans for any
additional temples. This morning, however, I am very pleased to
announce three new temples which will be built in the following
locations: Abidjan, Ivory Coast; Port-au-Prince, Haiti; and Bangkok,
Thailand. What marvelous blessings are in store for our faithful
members in these areas and, indeed, wherever temples are located
throughout the world. @The
process of determining needs and finding locations for additional
temples is ongoing, for we desire that as many members as possible
have an opportunity to attend the temple without great sacrifices of
time and resources. As we have done in the past, we will keep you
informed as decisions are made in this regard. @As
I think of temples, my thoughts turn to the many blessings we receive
therein. As we enter through the doors of the temple, we leave behind
us the distractions and confusion of the world. Inside this sacred
sanctuary, we find beauty and order. There is rest for our souls and
a respite from the cares of our lives. @As
we attend the temple, there can come to us a dimension of
spirituality and a feeling of peace which will transcend any other
feeling which could come into the human heart. We will grasp the true
meaning of the words of the Savior when He said: “Peace I leave
with you, my peace I give unto you. … Let not your heart be
troubled, neither let it be afraid.”1 @Such
peace can permeate any heart—hearts that are troubled, hearts that
are burdened down with grief, hearts that feel confusion, hearts that
plead for help. @I
recently learned firsthand of a young man who attended the temple
with a heart pleading for help. Many months earlier he had received
his call to serve in a mission in South America. However, his visa
was delayed for such a lengthy period that he was reassigned to a
mission in the United States. Although disappointed that he could not
serve in the area of his original call, he nonetheless worked hard in
his new assignment, determined to serve to the best of his ability.
He became discouraged, however, because of negative experiences he
had with missionaries who seemed to him to be more interested in
having a good time than in sharing the gospel. @A
few short months later this young man suffered a very serious health
challenge which left him partially paralyzed, and so he was sent home
on a medical leave. @Some
months later the young man had healed completely, and his paralysis
had disappeared. He was informed that he would once again be able to
serve as a missionary, a blessing for which he had prayed daily. The
only disappointing news was that he would return to the same mission
which he had left, where he felt the behaviors and attitudes of some
missionaries were less than they should be. @He
had come to the temple to seek comfort and a confirmation that he
could have a good experience as a missionary. His parents also had
prayed that this temple visit would provide the help their son
needed. @As
the young man entered the celestial room following the session, he
sat in a chair and began to pray for guidance from his Heavenly
Father. @Another
who entered the celestial room shortly afterward was a young man
whose name is Landon. As he walked into the room, his gaze was
immediately drawn to the young man sitting on the chair, eyes closed
and obviously praying. Landon received an unmistakable prompting that
he should speak with the young man. Hesitant to interrupt, however,
he decided to wait. After several minutes had gone by, the young man
was still praying. Landon knew he could no longer postpone the
prompting. He approached the young man and gently touched his
shoulder. The young man opened his eyes, startled that he had been
disturbed. Landon said quietly, “I have felt impressed that I need
to talk with you, although I am not certain why.” @As
they began to converse, the young man poured out his heart to Landon,
explaining his circumstances and ending with his desire to receive
some comfort and encouragement concerning his mission. Landon, who
had returned from a successful mission just a year earlier, told of
his own mission experiences, the challenges and concerns he had
faced, the manner in which he had turned to the Lord for help, and
the blessings he had received. His words were comforting and
reassuring, and his enthusiasm for his mission was contagious.
Eventually, as the young man’s fears subsided, a feeling of peace
came to him. He felt deep gratitude as he realized his prayer had
been answered. @The
two young men prayed together, and then Landon prepared to leave,
happy that he had listened to the inspiration which had come to him.
As he stood to go, the young man asked Landon, “Where did you serve
your mission?” To this point, neither of them had mentioned to the
other the name of the mission in which he had served. When Landon
replied with the name of his mission, tears welled up in the eyes of
the young man. Landon had served in the very mission to which the
young man would be returning! @In
a recent letter to me, Landon shared with me the young man’s
parting words to him: “I had faith Heavenly Father would bless me,
but I never could have imagined that He would send someone to help me
who had served in my own mission. I know now that all will be well.”2
The humble prayer of a sincere heart had been heard and answered. @My
brothers and sisters, in our lives we will have temptations; we will
have trials and challenges. As we go to the temple, as we remember
the covenants we make there, we will be better able to overcome those
temptations and to bear our trials. In the temple we can find peace.
@The
blessings of the temple are priceless. One for which I am grateful
every day of my life is that which my beloved wife, Frances, and I
received as we knelt at a sacred altar and made covenants binding us
together for all eternity. There is no blessing more precious to me
than the peace and comfort I receive from the knowledge I have that
she and I will be together again. @May
our Heavenly Father bless us that we may have the spirit of temple
worship, that we may be obedient to His commandments, and that we may
follow carefully the steps of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I
testify that He is our Redeemer. He is the Son of God. He it is who
came forth from the grave that first Easter morning, bringing with
Him the gift of everlasting life for all of God’s children. On this
beautiful day, as we celebrate that momentous event, may we offer
prayers of gratitude for His great and marvelous gifts to us. That
this may be so, I pray humbly in His holy name, amen. ~~@~~
Wouldn't you love to be that helper? Wouldn't you love to help/
assist HF's children and help build his kingdom here on the earth.
Man, if I could be one of his helpers I would love it! I would be so
proud. I would be so grateful. What better thing could we be or do?
How will you feel when you get to the next life and that person says
thank you with tears in their eyes and HF or JC takes you in his arms
and says Thank you as well? Yes! That is what it is all
about! You
are loved Brandon and cared for. I appreciate your sweet attitude and
trust in him. Keep trusting. Don't turn away. Share with him your
pains and your trials. He can support you. He has supported me in the
depths of chagrin and shame. That is what this life is all about.
Stay on his coat tails. Don't let go. Trust, love and sacrifice for
him. Allen Hillton is a recently retired dentist and return couple
missionary from Manchester, England. He and I were the only basses at
choir practice yesterday. He had his prostate removed before his
mission and that eliminates your manhood and leaves you feeling like
your guts may fall out your bottom. He is our SS president and asked
me how I was doing to start Choir. I replied, excellent. Then I held
the music in front of my lips and turned towards him and whispered, I
did some service this week that just left me feeling wonderful. A-
Isn't that funny how that works? You sacrifice to help someone else
and it leaves you feeling wonderful! Brandon, if you don't know that
feeling yet, practice it. It will come. It is real. I could make you
a list of 20 ways you could bless people's lives even when you are in
Purgatory. I felt totally deprived, discouraged upon being fired,
retired. I turned to General Conferences to sharpen my spirit and
fill my soul. “Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to
obtain my word. . .” I did not anticipate how it would help sharpen
the saw. Take care of your spirit. Yesterday in my testimony I said
at least a quick 100 things but one of them was: A young lady before
out sacrament meeting told her dad she was going for a drink and I
thought I am thirsty too. Her dad called her back and reminded her it
was fast Sunday. In Saint George we get thirsty! So does your spirit.
Don't wait until next Sunday before you give it another drink. Read
at least a verse from the book of mormon everyday. As I was walking
my Molly last night I realized an improvement on that would be to
recite or repeat a beautiful passage everyday, if you can't read and
study until you are spiritually fed/ feasted. GBY-BLTPJS-vj11:13 5hours of writing, pasting, thinking.
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