#7 Come Unto Me

Sunday, August 31, 2014 9:25p

Hello Srandon,

Remember that talk you told me about from Linda Reeves? We ended up printing it off and sharing it. You said that was the best answer you knew of to the growing pornography problem. Well, the oldest, most solid, clear speaking widow in the ward was asked to give a talk today in sacrament meeting by the Bishop using that talk. When he asked her she said yes and then when she heard the topic she wanted to say no. She said, I do not want to give this talk.

So sweet. She has many children and grandchildren and starting great grandchildren. She did and it was fantastic. There is something special that happens when the sisters speak on the topic. It somehow becomes our problem instead of their problem! I commented to her afterwards that of all the times I have studied that talk, this time I realized that daily family scripture study and daily family prayer and weekly Family Home Evening are our prescription and protection for this plague. Woah!

Her son, single, in his 40’s came to support her. He burst in with, yes and there is a 12 step program sponsored by the church for it.

I responded and there are daily addiction recovery meeting you can call in to be a part of a group.

I have a friend girl, alias SewSista on ldssingles.com, who encouraged me to join an addiction recovery group last December. I couldn’t figure out why but I joined in January. They meet in a chat room on the internet every morning and have a devotional and a sharing time. I was shocked at the spirituality of those daily meetings. I sat back and just watched my first week trying to figure out what was going on and how I could best fit in. And whether or not I could benefit.  It is called Heart to Heart and has been running for about 20 years. Even older than chatrooms.

Sewsista lost her second marriage to her husband’s pornography addiction. And I have been surprised how many single sisters on ldssc have had similar experiences.

In Sister Nedra Kimball’s talk today she quoted Joseph Smith as saying immorality would be the biggest downfall for the priesthood in this last dispensation.  Do you remember that part in the talk? I don’t.

The teaching style in the church was supposed to change this year. WE had our 5^th Sunday meeting combined with the RS about this new style called “Come Unto Me”.

WE watched 2 segments of a video of a ward counsel made of Jeffrey Holland and all these auxiliary leaders of the church discussing this new technique and change that were 12 minutes long and ended with Elder Holland in tears with love for that counsel. Harlie Meinkey our SS president conducted it. Brother Frank Haney and his wife Shana Haney are Course 15 and 16 instructors in the Sunday School and they shared their experiences and testimonies about it. The highlight of Sister Shana’s presentation was when she told of Meth Nielson speaking quietly over her shoulder at the ward swim party Tuesday, “Have you written in your journal today?”  She repeated that part twice with tears in her eyes because he was teaching and reminding her. Meth is the skinniest 6’4” you have ever seen and has a brother Josh who went on a mission to Columbia or Ecuador this year. He looks like an undertaker with his stiff movements. People in the ward think he is so amazing as he blesses the sacrament so clearly and bears his testimony almost monthly. Little do they know how he struggles inside. Fighting lonliness and depression and sin. WE are in the ward choir together and as we sat passing the sacrament he skipped himself and he went without blessing the sacrament in front of the ward for some weeks/months last Spring. I patted him on the shoulder at the time and said, hang in there and probably some other stuff.

[11/15/15 Sunday, By The Way, btw, Whoever felt uncomfortable with my describing and using Seth as a example in the preceeding paragraph, thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU! Thank you for caring enough to take it to the bishop so he could visit with me. I didn't mind. Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for being in my ward. Whoever you are, I love you! I am so flattered someone read my blog! I only have an average of 4 people read my blogs. The first year it was just 2 people, besides myself and Brandon Perry Smith of course! So Sister Whoever, if you find anything else that seems over-exposing or inappropriate, tell me. My social conscience does not work very well. I can't believe people keep child abuse secret. So I have gone to the other extreme. I expose all my dirty laundry, I hang it out in public to avoid keeping secrets. I am anti secrets. I love transparency. So help me when it is way to much!  I am writing all this stuff to Brandon who has been at Purgatory for 4 years with his case unsettled. I try to include as much of my thoughts and issues and wildness and failures as possible so he might take heart and try, as well as be e n t e r t a i n e d. He has given up exercise. He has given up writing and responding. He barely prays and feels such a failure. He is so depressed. I have told him about 1- sunlight, 2-exercise, 3-nutrition, 4 socialize, 5- therapy, 6- medication, the 6 tools for fighting depression. But he is totally depressed. So as you know I am extreme to some degree already! And being extreme I hope to jolt him, inspire him, teach him, motivate him and anyone else who needs this blog. I try to be scrupulously honest and genuine but that might not be tactful. Sister Whoever, thank you and please join me and help me fix problems, if you dare! : ) ] PS. It took me an hour and a half to find this spot the Bishop referred to. I realized it would take forever and then decided I could just find the "sacrament." So instead of taking me a week I did it in a day!vj

This life is a test. And it tests us all. The secret is being totally honest with the Lord as often as we can. He knows anyway. We just have to face up to it.

WE studied Jonah in SS today. Messe Bird is assigned as my home teacher but has never visited me in over a year. This was his second week as a gospel doctrine teacher for the adults. He has a great mind and a facility with the scriptures that is really a gift or well-earned talent.

I was again surprised to learn how much Jonah whined. Messe Bird really brought that out in his lesson.  We must have read 6 scriptures where Jonah was complaining to HF during that year. The last one was hilarious. There were 120K people in Ninevah who repented because of his crying repentance.  And you know what he said?  Lord, I knew you would do this. I knew you would let me down. All anyone has to do is repent and you just let them right back into your love and care. You just completely forgive them. Where is all the fun of destroying this people and this city if you accept their repentance?

He wanted to see some fireworks! He was so disappointed.

Class members pointed out that he isn’t alone. Paul had to call President Peter out about accepting the gentiles into the church. The Jewish Saints couldn’t stand the gentiles. Those unclean people will be a part of us? Gross!

It seems like I remember being surprised before about Jonah’s disappointment, but I forget how petty and silly he was. He got all upset with the Lord about drying up a gourd vine that was giving him shade. And the Lord responded. See how silly you are being. Those 120K people are a lot more important to me that this gourd plant that has been giving you shade. They are my children.

Sal Demke, a SS commenter during class like I am, came up to me at the front corner where I always sit. He sits on the back row and makes often disruptive comments. I will tell you one from today in a minute. Anyway he came up to me and said, Jonah is my favorite prophet. Really? I responded and he said, yes. Of course I invited him to walk to the RS room with me and explain why. He said that this is the story the Jews read every year at their most important celebration. It isn’t dumb old Isaiah or something but Jonah. The reason is, is that he is such a strong type/ image of the Saviour. 3 days in the big fish’ belly etc. etc.

I guess that tells us it is OK to be honest and express your feelings to the Lord as long as you obey his commandments or something like that.

One sister said she found it refreshing to hear that a prophet was that human.

So here is Sal Demke’s faux pa of the day. He does something like this most weeks that he is here.

 “ Just imagine if Jonah had gone to Ninevah and told them that instead of being baptized to repent and be forgiven, if he had told them they had to be circumcised to repent and be forgiven. Do you think he would have had as many converts then, if it was a little more sacrifice to join the flock? “

Sal wasn’t satisfied with saying it once. He wanted to make sure he had been heard. He repeated it twice! What would you say as a second week gospel doctrine teacher to that?

The class was deadly silent. The teacher didn’t know how to respond. Usually when he says stuff like that he just gets ignored and after a pause of shock the teacher gets his horse moving again by kicking it in the ribs/ moving on in the lesson.

I decided I couldn’t let it pass. In a loud voice from the front corner of the room I said, “ Oh Sal, thank you so much!” The class sighed. There were quiet laughs and giggles. The teacher sighed and we moved on.

I wrote it in my journal. After RS/P today I sat in my seat until the room had cleared out. Messe Bird’s wife was visiting with someone so I struck up a conversation from across the room and eventually stood up and went over to be closer while he entertained his youngest in a baby carrier and in his arms.

“So Messe, how are you finding preparing for your SS lesson, boring, entertaining, enlightening, nerve wracking? I won’t detail his answer although I found it entertaining as well.

He asked if I was in his lesson today and I reminded him of my interaction with Sal Demke. I told him I had written about it in my journal and that I had learned something finally. Sal does that in an effort to get a laugh!  We don’t recognize that is his way of joking. Messe responded, because his delivery is so dry.  And I said, yes. . . exactly!!  Exactly!

Sal Demke was excommunicated from the church about a decade ago. His wife divorced him but he has still been sending his children on missions and active in the church. One outspoken brother in the ward said his frustration with Sal and his comments was the main reason he was moving out of the ward. He said that the bishop has talked to him, the stake president has talked to him. But he just won’t shut up. And they aren’t going to kick him out!

Mason Chappell our new EQ instructor as of January this year could not be drawn out in class because he was under sanctions not to contribute nor pray while he was disfellowshipped.  I was and EQ instructor at the time and I make sure that everyone feels a part of the quorum and participates at times. WE worked in groups a couple of times in EQ and I was in Mason’s group. As you can tell I like to reach out and include. When Mason shared with us that he wasn’t allowed to contribute we knew to include him but not ask him to do things. When he was able to take the sacrament again and contribute we welcomed him.  Most of us have been there.

A few years ago we needed a gospel doctrine SS class president. In an adult class the president takes the pressure off the teacher to start and end the lessons/class. There were two people in the class that seemed to need to contribute and be heard each week. Tabel Linares and Sal Demke. Everyone always has so much to do that I took it on myself to find a class president. Having served as SS President I knew how much that class president can add to the formality and warmth of the weekly lesson.  I think about these things when I am on my dog hikes and walks to stay in shape. I decided to ask Sal first since he was the loudest. He dissembled. I encouraged, I cajoled but he would not accept the calling. I had no idea why but I took it in stride and disappointment and eventually asked Tabel.  She was flattered. She loved the idea. But she wanted to make sure it went through the right channels. I took her with me into priesthood before opening excercises and asked a the bishop what needed to happen for it to be formalized. You just need to OK it with the SS President he said. The president was sitting right there and said, it’s good with me. I encouraged Tabel to get set apart after church and she was in.  She has had some serious ups and downs since then. Plus she speaks halting English and not very loudly. She doesn’t know the class members names so she has to ask them and write it down and then try to read it in front of everybody. But. . .

She is humble and sweet and sharing at the beginning of class and bears a sweet testimony at the end when she is there and I have watched some of our gospel doctrine teachers appreciate her. It has been a calling she loves and is growing into. Sometimes she doesn’t know who is new and who isn’t so I have introduced those who seldom come because they have a summer or winter home somewhere else. She shyly asked for a volunteer for the closing prayer today. Something she doesn’t usually do. She had gotten real soft with embarrassment about having to ask someone and when she waited for a response someone on the front row, a visitor, raised her hand and volunteered. At least that sister could hear what Sister Tabel Linares had said and took pity on her.

It all works quite intricately doesn’t it? 11:07p

=================================